


The Preacher's Son

by innersanctuaries



Series: The Preacher's Son 'verse [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Oral Sex, Pastor's Kid Eddie, Pining, Pining Richie Tozier, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-17 22:27:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21700735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innersanctuaries/pseuds/innersanctuaries
Summary: It was exactly eleven twenty one a.m, right in the middle of worship when Richie noticed him. Pretty little mouth pressed to the mic, a sweet kiss with a sweet melody streaming from that pretty little body. Church had never been his thing, but he thought that he would like to worship the pretty boy on the worship team. Eddie Kaspbrak, the boy that also happened to be the pastor’s son.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: The Preacher's Son 'verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1590460
Comments: 138
Kudos: 476





	1. Eyes Wide Open

**Author's Note:**

> So, here's the pastor's kid Eddie fic literally nobody asked for. It's still a work in progress, but I do have a good bit of it done and the rest of it well into the planning stages. I'll be posting chapters weekly, and I WILL notify y'all if that changes. But for now, weekly chapters! I'll be updating the tags as I go.
> 
> I'm super excited for this one, and I hope you guys like it as much as I do!
> 
> Song inspo for this chapter is Take Me To Church and Talk, both by Hozier.

It was exactly eleven twenty one a.m, right in the middle of worship when Richie noticed him. Well, the first time he _really_ noticed. Pretty little mouth pressed to the mic, a sweet kiss with a sweet melody streaming from that pretty little body. Mesmerizing fingers flew up and down the neck of a guitar, playing a religious tune, but those fingers looked like they could make Richie a religious man if used correctly.

_Cute, cute, cute,_ Richie thought. Church had never been his thing, but he thought that he would like to worship the pretty boy on the worship team. Eddie Kaspbrak, the boy that also happened to be the pastor’s son. 

He went from his half hearted singing and swaying to standing stock-still, silently fixated on Eddie. Now, he knew from experience that Eddie kept up the most innocent image he could, but happened to also be the most foul-mouthed, judgmental little prick he’d ever met. Which was saying something, because he himself happened to be a bit of a foul-mouthed, judgmental, not so little prick himself. 

The funniest thing of all was that he’d never truly noticed Eddie. Six years at the church with Richie seeing him nearly every Sunday and every holiday service, but he’d never actually _seen_ him before today. Sure, they had their little bit of history, and sure the guy might still hate him, but now Richie was thinking. 

_I want that one._

A guy in front of him kept shifting, and honestly, Richie didn’t even know people came in this dude’s size. At 5’11” and still growing, he usually didn’t have this problem, but he’d apparently decided to stand behind Goliath himself. Where the fuck was David when you needed him? Every time the guy moved, he blocked Richie’s view of Eddie, which resulted in him having to lean in the opposite direction the man did, just to keep an eye on the pretty boy with the pretty lips and mesmerizing fingers. 

Somewhere around the fifth time Richie moved, his mom shot him a withering glare that just screamed _stop that or I’ll kill you._ Begrudgingly, he stopped, because he really did value his life and dying at his mother’s hand just didn’t sound all that appealing to him. 

As worship wound down, Eddie took off his guitar and walked off the stage, going to sit in the front row instead of leaving for the lounge as he usually did. Alright, that was a bit strange, but Richie didn’t mind. It only meant he had more time to sit and stare like a dumbass. He must have stared a bit too hard, because Eddie turned suddenly, looking him straight in the eye. Did he know what Richie was thinking? Maybe he was a mind reader and knew that Richie wanted to kiss him ‘til they were both dizzy off it, that he wanted to suck marks into that smooth, unblemished skin of his. Maybe he knew all of that, and maybe he wanted it too. 

_Or maybe he doesn’t_ , Richie thought as Eddie turned up his nose and sneered at him, looking back to the stage. 

Speaking of the stage, the stairs leading up to it creaked as the great pastor Sonia Kaspbrak made her way up to the podium. Richie winced at his own thoughts, remembering exactly what the service was going to be about. It was an amazing week for him and most of his friends, but for everyone in the church it was likely a whole-ass tragedy. 

You see, on June 26th, 2015, gay marriage had been legalized for the United States. The Supreme Court released the ultimate ‘fuck you’ to homophobes everywhere and struck down all of the state bans barring them damn homos from getting married, something that had brought Richie to tears. The bad news was that on June 28th, 2015, Sonia Kaspbrak was about to unleash the homophobic sermon of all homophobic sermons, he just _knew it._

He’d been at the church for too long to not know how much she hated “The Gays” and anyone “confused about their gender”. No, not dislike, she absolutely _hated_ them. She must have had those mind reading skills he was thinking about earlier, because she also happened to hate him. The only thing Sonia hated more than anyone LGBT was Richie being anywhere near her precious little Eddie. The woman had no idea just how gay Richie was, but sometimes it felt like she just _knew_. 

“Good morning, everyone,” Sonia’s voice rang out, microphone screeching thanks to the useless tech people. Ah well, microphone feedback was music to his ears compared to her voice. “As you may know, Friday brought this country a great, sinful tragedy.”

The congregation muttered their disgust and agreement, his mother nodding and curling her lip. He nodded along, tears filling his eyes at his own betrayal. The only sin he was committing was lying to the whole room, lying about the person he really was. 

“Yes, yes. Homosexuality was legalized, and the idea of traditional marriage has been destroyed by the sinners in this country. It is no longer considered one man and one woman, but a man and a man or a woman and a woman,” The mic screamed again, and a few people in the crowd grumbled, looking up at the tech booth in annoyance. “What next, will the joining of man and animal be legalized? A child and an adult? We, as a country, are regressing, becoming the new Sodom and Gomorrah!”

More agreement from the church, a few people shouting “ _Amen!”_ another few clapping. His mother was another few, and he let out a weak “ _Amen”._ Looking over, he found Eddie staring up at Sonia blankly, not a single emotion on his face. Richie wondered if he was even there right then. He knew that he sure as shit wouldn’t be.

“You may all be asking, ‘ _What do we do now? How do we stop all of these sinners?’_ Well, the answer is to pray over these...people,” The way she paused before people made Richie’s blood boil. “They can change, they can become good and sane again!”

If Richie hadn’t been ready to tear this woman to shreds before, he certainly was now. 

“We have a lovely testimony of a reformed homosexual today, one that I’m sure will warm your hearts,” His heart dropped to his feet. Reformed homosexual? What the fuck was that supposed to mean? “Eddie, sweetie, come on up here!”

Blood icing over, he dragged his eyes over to Eddie’s shaking figure. Staring at his mother like a deer in headlights, Eddie slowly got up. Richie blinked and he’d already regained his composure, a sugary sweet smile spread across his face as he bounded up the stairs to give his mom a hug. Ignoring the shocked and somewhat outraged muttering of the crowd, he picked up a mic, beaming at Sonia. He spoke in the steadiest voice Richie had ever heard, especially for someone looking at such an angry and hateful crowd. 

“I know this may be surprising, but bear with me,” The church was tense, but there were a few people welcoming him, one of which was Richie. He could have sworn that Eddie glanced at him for just a second. “I’m here to tell you all how my mommy and God saved my life from sin.”

Richie dug his nails into his palms in order to stifle a laugh. This kid had to be the only teenager known to mankind that still referred to his mom as “ _mommy”_. At the same time, his heart somehow sank deeper, somewhere down past his feet and into the core of the earth. 

He could safely say that he had never seen someone’s eyes look as miserable as Eddie’s did through the sermon, speaking of the conversion therapy he’d undergone and just how fantastic it had been for him. The kid went on for at least twenty minutes, detailing the wonders of the therapy and how it had saved him and countless other children. 

But his _eyes._

Those were the eyes of someone who wanted to get the fuck out of there immediately, whose chest felt like it was about to cave in. That was not the face of someone thankful to their mother, they were the eyes of a resentful, trapped little boy with no way out. Richie’s heart _squeezed_ , making him feel sick to his stomach. 

_Your fault, your fault, your fault_

“Hey ma, I’m going to go get some coffee. Want anything?” He whispered, already getting up.

“Nothing for me.” She said absentmindedly, hyperfocused on Eddie, who happened to be finishing up. 

Practically running out of the main sanctuary, Richie made a beeline for the coffee and tried tuning out Eddie’s voice over the speakers. He couldn’t stand to hear any more of this shit. 

“Thank you all for helping me in my journey, and thank God for using his power to save me. Thank you,” Eddie’s voice said, the church cheering and _amen’_ s ringing out from here, there, everywhere. 

It wasn’t but a minute before the doors to the sanctuary burst open and Eddie ran out, going straight into the bathroom, his breaths coming hard and fast. 

_Oh, well shit._

He had two options right now. One: he got his coffee and went right back to his mom to listen in on the next hour of sermon, or two: he went into the bathroom after Eddie and got chewed the fuck out by his mom later. 

Option two was sounding pretty great, and with the faint sound of retching coming from the bathroom, he was pretty sure that’s what he was going for. Grabbing some tea and a mint, he made his way over to the bathroom, hoping he didn’t fuck all this up.

“Eddie?” He called out to the seemingly empty bathroom. “I just wanted to say that what happened to you is really fucking shitty and I’m sorry. So, yeah, I brought some tea and I’ll just leave it here- holy _fuck_!”

Screaming, Richie nearly threw both drinks across the bathroom. Eddie was standing right behind him, tears streaming down his cheeks, eyes red and puffy. “Watch where you’re fucking swinging that, you could have burned me!”

“Yeah? Then how about you don’t hide in the shadows and scare the shit out of me?”

“Aren’t you trying to make me feel better? Because this isn’t helping,” Oh, right. Eddie sniffled, eyes still glossy. He looked more pissed than sad right now, and he wasn’t sure if that was an improvement or not. At least it was a distraction, Richie told himself. “What kind of tea?”

“Tea?” Richie said dumbly.

“Tea, stupid. The one you’re holding right now.”

“What if I said it wasn’t tea?”

“The string from the teabag is literally hanging from the side, you fucking moron,” Eddie said, annoyance obvious in his tone. “What kind?”

“Chamomile. It’s for you,” Holding it out as one would an olive branch, Richie hoped he would take it from him. “My mom says it soothes the nerves, but it’s really hot so be careful.”

Snatching it from Richie’s hand, Eddie stared at it as if it was going to bite him before taking a cautious sip and sighing, tired eyes sliding shut in contentment. “That’s good. Thank you.”

“A mint too, for the throwing up.”

“How’d you-” Eddie asked, panicked, before going back to his church boy smile. “I wasn’t throwing up, don’t worry about me.”

“I could hear you when I was making my coffee,” He responded flatly, unsure why the fake smile put him off as much as it did. Even if it wasn’t positive, he preferred the annoyed look to this smile. “Just take the damn mint, Eds.”

“Don’t call me that,” The smile was gone, replaced with a caged animal look. “Did anyone else hear?”

“No, just my gay ass,” At that moment, Richie decided he was going to push some buttons, see how bad the situation was. “Nice performance up there, didja actually mean any of it?”

“Shut the fuck up, I meant every word,” Voice rising, Richie realized he’d not only struck a nerve, but he may have also greatly overstepped. “I’m healed and you’re _sick_ , Richie.”

“So you _do_ remember my name!”

“Fuck you,” Eddie spat.

“Come on, it’s been six years. You can’t still hate me,” He lied, knowing full well that if he were in Eddie’s shoes, he would fucking hate himself too. 

“Do you know what you caused? What I had to do because of you?” Setting the tea down, Eddie took a step, two steps closer to him. Voice low and dangerous, Richie thought he may have fucked up. “Everything I said up there was because of you. Some tea and a mint won’t do jack shit to fix that.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t-” But he did know, didn’t he? He knew that it was his fault, that one little kiss had been the thing to fuck this all up. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah?” Stepping right up to Richie’s face, Eddie only had to whisper. “So am I.”

“If you’re so sorry, then stop looking down at my lips,” He breathed, looking Eddie right in the eye.

Stumbling back, Eddie ran into a decorative table, almost knocking over the flowers sitting pretty on top of it. The glare thrown at Richie was one that was so intense it almost actually burned him. 

“You’re sick, Richie. Get help.”

With that, he was left in a bathroom alone with his coffee and Eddie’s tea. He noticed that he’d taken the mint. 

_That one_ , Richie thought. _I want that one._


	2. Here I Am To Worship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The youth pastor liked to say that Thursday youth services were, unfortunately, “lit”. It sounded strange coming out of the mouth of an already balding thirty something year old man that looked sort of like a chihuahua, but though it made Richie cringe, he decided to go anyway. Not for the pastor, mind you. It was for the guitarist on the worship team, the pastor’s kid, the one and only Eddie Kaspbrak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I'd update on fridays, but I'm honestly too excited about this chapter to wait. I love these two useless gays so much.
> 
> Song inspo for this chapter is Tribulation by Matt Maeson

Dinner was always a quiet affair in the Tozier household.

“Hey, ma?”

“What, Richie?”

“Can I go to the youth group tonight?”

“The youth?” She repeated, surprise obvious in her tone. “At the church?”

“Yeah, at the church.”

“Of course, honey,” She’d perked up simply at the mention of it, God knew how she’d react to him asking if he could go to any other events at the church. “Do you have gas? I’ll give you some gas money if you need it.”

“Mom, church is like ten miles away. I’ll be fine.” 

“Sure,” That _“okay, sounds fake, but okay”_ tone jumped out at him, making him clench his jaw to bite back any unwanted responses. “I’m very glad you’re finally showing some interest in church.”

“I just thought it was time to get involved.”

From there, they ate in a comfortable silence. Richie hated that he had to lie to get her to be happy, but that’s how it’d been for a good long while, something he’d had to get used to. 

For now, all he wanted to think about was getting involved. Not with church, of course, but with a pretty church boy with big brown eyes and lips he couldn’t help but be fixated on. All he knew was that in just over an hour, he would start getting involved.

__________

The youth pastor liked to say that Thursday youth services were, unfortunately, “lit”. It sounded strange coming out of the mouth of an already balding thirty something year old man that looked sort of like a chihuahua, but though it made Richie cringe, he decided to go anyway. Not for the pastor, mind you. It was for the guitarist on the worship team, the pastor’s kid, the one and only Eddie Kaspbrak. 

Obviously.

It was a dark room with too many colorful lights to illuminate it, definitely christian music booming (he heard the word Jesus in a positive context far too many times in the span of a minute for it not to be). He went in expecting a lot of things, and those were all unexpected, but he _really_ hadn’t expected to be checked into the nearest wall not thirty seconds after he’d walked in. Glasses going flying, the rest was literally a blur as he landed right on his ass. 

“Fuck,” He wheezed, trying to puzzle out what had just happened. Richie wondered if it had been the holy ghost that had knocked him out. Et tu, Jesus? The already dark room was now impossible to see, anything that had originally been discernible now just a blur. 

“What the _fuck_ are you doing here?” Hissed a familiar voice. “Leave. Now.”

“No can do, Eddie Spaghetti. I can’t see shit,” Richie looked in Eddie’s general direction and hoped he was looking at the right person because, well, he was merely a blind bitch. “Get me my glasses and I’ll be out of your-”

_CRUNCH_

The sound of his glasses being crushed under his own dumb-ass foot had never caused him so much joy. The automatic reaction to crushing his glasses was apparently to yelp and then promptly fall back on his stupid ass. “Oh. Looks like you’re stuck with me.”

“Gosh I fucking hate you.”

“ _Gosh?”_

“Shut up. I don’t use the Lord’s name in vain, unlike _you_ ,” Eddie sneered.

“Yeah, but you talk a lot of shit for a good little christian boy, don’t you?” 

“Shut _up_ ,” Sighing, Eddie helped him up, barely giving him the time to snatch up his mangled glasses. “What the _fuck_ are you wearing?”

Looking down, he brought the fabric of his shirt close to his face in order to see it. Orange hawaiian print, of course. “It’s tropical!”

“It’s hideous, that’s what it is. Never show up in the Lord’s house with some dumb shit like that on again.”

“Why, is it against the bible or something?”

“No, it’s a hate crime against my eyes.”

Making an indignant noise, he started at Eddie grabbing his arm and leading him towards what kinda looked like the front of the room. Everything was still a blur, but the feeling of Eddie’s warm, soft hand on his bare arm brought a smile to his face. They stopped, and he was all but thrown back into a chair.

“You’re going to sit your ass down right here and said ass is going to _stay_ sitting there- what the fuck are you smiling about?”

“I love it when you get rough with me, Eds,” Waggling his brows, Richie yelped when he got smacked upside the head. 

“Don’t call me that. Just do me a huge favor and shut the fuck up. I’ll fucking kill you if you fu- hey Pastor Brandon!”

Eddie’s voice practically raised an octave, breaking a little. Trying his best not to snort, Richie peeked his head out from behind Eddie and found a fuzzy figure not much taller than Eddie, if at all. 

“Hey there Eddie! Who’s your new friend?” The pastor’s voice was high and nasal, and just a bit grating. 

“Name’s Richard Tozier, sir. But you can call me Richie.”

“Nice to meet you, River. Welcome to United Youth! I hope you get to know how totally epic everyone here is,” Thankfully, he didn’t think Brandon saw him wince at the outdated lingo. Double thankfully, he seemed ready to leave. “Eddie, up on the stage in five.”

“Gotcha, P.B.”

With that, the pastor was gone. It wasn’t that he wasn’t a nice guy, it was just that Richie really wasn’t here to socialize with anyone but Eddie. 

“Did you just call him P.B? Like, peanut butter?”

“Like Pastor Brandon, you stupid bastard.”

“ _I’m_ the stupid bastard? He couldn’t get my name right even though I told him what it was five fucking seconds before that!”

“Are you calling the pastor stupid?”

“No, I’m saying that God skimped on the brain cells while making him.”

Eddie scoffed, and he was pretty sure he was about to throttle Richie. “Could you not be a dick for like, five seconds while I do worship? At least fake being christian until I get back.”

“What the hell do you think I do at home? I can fake it better than a girl can fake an orgasm.”

He was pretty sure Eddie wrinkled his nose, especially after getting smacked upside the head again. Sighing, Eddie turned and left towards the makeshift stage right in front of him. Okay, he could sit pretty and not do anything stupid for half an hour. 

The moment the music started, he could feel himself relax. He may not like church, but he did like the worship. Singing, though he was a bit tone deaf, always made him feel a bit better than he had beforehand. It was simply a fact, and worship was the time where nobody really gave a shit how off-key you sing, because it’s for the Lord. Obviously. So he stood, waiting for a song to start, and the moment he did, he was stunned into silence. 

Eddie’s voice was just as beautiful as he was. In the adult service, Eddie only played once a month when the youth joined the adults, and he always sang backup. What a fucking mistake, the kid deserved to be front and center every time. The music actually spoke to Richie for the first time in his life, making his heart clench and creating a whole flock of butterflies in his stomach. 

There was a tug in his chest, something almost painful that he’d really only felt in years past. His mind went to ice cream on sunny days, hot cocoa in the pastor’s living room on cold ones. Suddenly, he wanted to go back six years, just to go swimming in the quarry with Eddie once more, to see that smile of his directed at him one more time. Just once more, and he could die a happy man. 

_God, if nothing else, hear me when I say I need him_

When worship ended, it was like there was like he’d actually gained something from it. Not anything religious, mind you, but a purpose. Now he really and truly knew that he needed one thing and one thing only: Eddie fucking Kaspbrak. 

“You good?” Eddie whispered, settling in next to him and snapping him out of whatever daze he’d been in. Their thighs were touching, and Richie could feel his cheeks heating just because of that. 

“Why, are you worried?” Stupid. He literally couldn’t just say yes? 

“No, I just don’t want you to fuck up the service by passing out or some shit, fuckhead.” Eddie said in a clipped tone. He had been genuine in asking, and Richie had gone and messed that one right up.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll live.”

“Unfortunately, I think you’re right. Now shut up, the service is starting.”

The service was, as expected, boring as fuck. It likely would have been better if not for the fact that, to put it very simply, he couldn’t see jack shit. But alas, the blind bitch sat there for an hour and listened to Brandon drone on and on about something like trusting in God. Richie just couldn’t see _(ha)_ how one could sit and blindly trust in someone you don’t even know is there, but whatever floats your boat. 

One thing he could definitely appreciate about the whole ordeal was the amount of time he spent with his thigh pressed to Eddie’s. In fact, their hands brushed up against each other at least once. It was enough to leave Richie a blushing mess. He honestly and truly felt like he was a child with a crush instead of a legal adult with very gay feelings for a very repressed gay dude. The situation was a bit more than a little humiliating, even if he was the only person who knew what was actually going through his own head. 

“Is it over?” Richie asked, fake yawning and stretching. He tried his best not to pout when Eddie stood up. His thigh already felt colder. 

“Yes, dumbass,” He reached down to grab Richie’s hand, helping him up. “How are you planning on leaving? Do you need a ride?”

“From you? Definitely.”

He should have expected it, but he got smacked for the third time that night, leaving him a giggling mess and Eddie a blushing one. 

“I’m serious! Do you need a ride home?”

“‘Course not, I have spare glasses in the car!”

“...are you telling me I’ve been helping you for nothing?”

“Yep.”

“I fucking hate you.”

Eddie grabbed his hand again, more gently this time. Heart pounding, Richie wished not for the first time that he could see. The feeling of Eddie’s warm and gentle hand in his felt right in more ways than one, and he couldn’t help but to feel twelve years old all over again. Maybe the feeling he hadn’t been able to put his finger on back then was something like love. Maybe he’d been in love with Eddie.

And maybe, just maybe, he still was.


	3. Jesus Loves The Little Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was the first time he’d ever really looked at Bill. Only ten, he had no idea what it was to be closeted, but he did know that these feelings were greatly frowned upon by the entirety of the church. All he knew was that he was getting the shit beaten out of him in the church parking lot by Henry Bowers and Patrick Hockstetter for looking at Bill just one second too long.

_ It was the first time he’d ever really  _ _looked_ _ at Bill. Only ten, he had no idea what it was to be closeted, but he did know that these feelings were greatly frowned upon by the entirety of the church. All he knew was that he was getting the shit beaten out of him in the church parking lot by Henry Bowers and Patrick Hockstetter for looking at Bill just one second too long. _

_ “What are you, a faggot? Is that what you are?” _

_ “‘Course he is, Patrick. He’s just a pansy-ass faggot,” Bowers bent down to look at Richie, small body curled up like an armadillo on the floor. “And we’re going to kill you, kid.” _

_ “What the fuck do you guys think you’re doing?” A tiny but very,  _ **_very_ ** _ angry voice called out. All three of them turned their heads to look and see a small boy with big brown eyes and curly hair holding a small bottle of what looked like hairspray walking towards them with determination in his eyes. Looking down at Richie, he mimed closing his eyes. Richie, being a smart person that could read labels, shut his eyes tight. “Get the hell out of here, shitbags. Leave him alone.” _

_ “Well if it isn’t the pastor’s- AHHH!” Bowers started, quickly stopping and screaming. Patrick joined him soon after, then there was a small hand grabbing his and tugging him up. _

_ “Let’s run!” Richie nodded in agreement, and started running while the kid threw the bottle of pepper spray at Hockstetter’s head. They both turned tail and ran faster than they ever had before, not bothering to look back at the older boys.  _

_ They ended up in the church bathroom, one of the single person ones that the youth would use to hook up in sometimes. The boy had a fanny pack, one that seemed to hold literally everything one would ever need. What it held right now was antiseptic spray, bandages, and some much needed aspirin. _

_ “What’s your name?” The boy asked him, spraying his scraped knees and elbows, letting out apologetic noises when Richie’s eyes filled with tears. _

_ “I’m Richie. What’s yours?” _

_ Surprise flitted across the kid’s face. “You don’t know me?” _

_ “No. Should I?” _

_ With a grin that was bigger than he’d ever seen before, the kid took out antiseptic wipes and dabbed at the cut on his cheek. “No, you shouldn’t, because we just met. I’m Eddie!” _

_ “Thanks for saving my ass. I thought they were going to kill me.” _

_ “I thought so too, that’s why I saved your ass,” Giggling, Richie stood stock-still as Eddie bandaged him up and handed him three aspirin. It was probably too much, but he also felt like he’d been put through a meat grinder and didn’t care. “Are you new here? I haven’t seen you before.” _

_ “Yeah, it’s my second week. My mom wanted me to try to make some friends in the youth group but...that didn’t work very well.” _

_ “Stay in the adult sanctuary, you’ll like it better there.” _

_ “How do you know?” _

_ “Because you won’t be getting your ass kicked there!” _

_ In all honesty, Eddie became the best friend Richie’d ever had. He didn’t know it at the time, but he was the best friend Richie would ever have, period. They were a dynamic duo, doing everything together.  _

_ Somewhere along the way, Richie learned Eddie was the pastor’s kid, but that only made his “I fucked your mom” jokes ten times funnier.  _

_ “I thought you’d treat me differently,” Eddie said, licking at his deformed Spider-Man ice cream. “Everyone does.” _

_ “I’m not everyone, stupid. Why the fuck would I treat you differently? So what, your mom talks about God a lot. It’s cool, but you’re not special because of it.” _

_ “Thanks, Rich,” Eddie said drily.  _

_ “No, like, you’re special for other things. It’s just that your mom isn’t what makes you special, it’s you. You make you special.” _

_ “Oh,” Finishing off his ice cream, Eddie offered to throw away Richie’s wrapper along with his. “Thanks Richie.” _

_ Then he turned twelve, and things changed a bit. Richie wasn’t sure what happened, but Eddie started being a little different. His ears went red when Richie said things about him, he would laugh harder or longer at stupid things, and he would always give him this  _ **_look_ ** _. It was a look that made his heart skip a beat and melt a little bit, but he couldn’t figure out what it was.  _

_ He figured it out one hot summer day when they were sitting outside, waiting for the service to be over.  _

_ “Hey, Richie?” _

_ “Yeah?” _

_ “Have you ever had your first kiss?” Eddie asked in a very, very small voice.  _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ “Who was it?”  _

_ “Your  _ **_mom_ ** _.” _

_ “Oh fuck you, you’re impossible.” _

_ “Nah, I haven’t had my first kiss yet,” Richie said, palms immediately going sweaty. How the fuck did he tell the pastor’s kid that he liked boys? “I, uh…I don’t like girls.” _

_ “Yeah, they’re all kinda mean,” He was so fucking clueless, Eddie had no idea what he was saying. It took a moment for it to catch up with him, until Richie could see that he’d gotten it. “Oh. You mean...you like boys?” _

_ “It’s wrong. The bible says so.” _

_ “Well, I don’t think it’s wrong. My mommy says it is, but I don’t think so,” Shrugging, Eddie looked down at his feet and toed at the grass. _

_ “Why not? If the bible says so then it’s wrong! It says I’m sick!” _

_ “I think God loves everyone the same. People wrote the bible, and people read the bible, but God isn’t telling us how to read it. We read it the way we want to.” _

_ “That doesn’t make sense.” _

_ “But it does. God loves us, but people hate each other for dumb shit. I don’t think it’s wrong and I know you’re not sick.” _

_ “How would you know? You like girls,” The silence that came after that was deafening and told Richie absolutely everything he needed to know. “Wait.” _

_ “I like boys too.” _

_ “Oh.” _

_ It was so, so quiet. Neither of them dared to say a word for fear of breaking the silence, because if that was broken, then who knew what was going to come next? _

_ “Well,” Richie whispered, nervous and shaking. “Do you wanna have your first kiss?” _

_ Eddie never answered him, simply grabbed his face and kissed him softly. When their lips met, Richie thought that maybe Eddie was right. Maybe everything was okay, and maybe God did love him. If he didn’t, then why the fuck would he let something this good happen to him? _

_ In hindsight, they should have checked the time.  _

_ “Eddie-bear?!”  _

_ They broke apart so quickly that Richie toppled over onto his back. The great Sonia Kaspbrak towered over them, her face bright red and furious. Running over, she grabbed Eddie by the arm and dragged him up so quickly and roughly that he yelped. _

_ “Stop, you’re hurting him!” Richie yelled. _

_ She whirled around, stopping Richie right in his tracks. Eddie was crying, silent and horrified tears trailing down his cheeks. “You. You stay the  _ **_hell_ ** _ away from my boy. You’re  _ **_sick_ ** _ , you’re horrible!”  _

_ That was the last time Richie truly saw Eddie. He knew it. He really was sick.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yippee, flashback scenes! Because backstory is important and we love backstory. The great Sonia Kaspbrak can go fuck herself ngl, I think I accidentally made her worse in this fic than she is in the movie.


	4. Dream Small

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So what’s the small group doing this week?” Throwing an arm around Eddie’s shoulder, Richie mussed up his hair and laughed at the furious look he got. “I heard something about Starbucks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song inspo is Honeybee by The Head and The Heart

“So what’s the small group doing this week?” Throwing an arm around Eddie’s shoulder, Richie mussed up his hair and laughed at the furious look he got. Another Thursday, another youth service. One where he’d been too much of a coward to sit next to Eddie, no less. “I heard something about Starbucks.”

“You didn’t hear anything about  _ anything _ . There’s no fucking way in hell you’re going to the damn small groups too,” Eddie hissed, throwing Richie’s arm off of him. “And what the  _ fuck _ are you wearing?”

“Of course I’m going to the small groups, it’s vital to my walk with God!” Glancing down at his shirt, a lovely blue hawaiian shirt with neon pink flamingos, he frowned. “I told you, it’s tropical!”

“It’s hideous, and you’re not even religious.”

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll ask your mom and tell her you refused to mention where it is,” With a triumphant grin, Richie crossed his arms like a smug child. “And yes, I would do that.”

“I fucking  _ hate _ you,” Eddie ground out through clenched teeth, which he seemed to do a lot around him. “It’s at 10 on Saturday, the Starbucks by the library. Don’t show up or I will kill you.”

He showed up. 

To his surprise, he and Eddie were the first two there. The look of horror on Eddie’s face was possibly the funniest thing he’d ever seen before. 

“Hey,” Plopping down next to him, he stage whispered in Eddie’s ear and pretended he didn’t see him setting his jaw. “Your drinks are just as frilly as you are, huh?” 

There was no response aside from the tips of Eddie’s ears going red, a response he was both happy and unhappy with. Richie needed to get a rise out of him, or else he’d never get to talk to him. “It’s alright, I like the super gay drinks too.”

“They’re not gay, you fucking degenerate. They’re delicious, and straight people can drink them too.”

“I don’t think so. I mean, I don’t see anyone but us drinking anything like it, and neither of us are straight,” Shrugging, Richie got up to order and left Eddie sitting there, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

He was perfectly aware of the fact that he was being a huge dick. Like, fucking gargantuan. It was pigtail pulling, plain and simple. Richie wasn’t sure he knew any other way to actually flirt. Especially with someone so repressed and far in the closet as Eddie. He took a moment to wonder why exactly he wanted this one specifically before looking back at the table for just a moment. The youth pastor had arrived, and Eddie was absolutely  _ beaming  _ at him. Jealousy clawed at his chest, his heart skipping a beat. 

_ I want him to look at me like that. _

__ So, that smile was why. His stupid hair that looked as pretty and soft as it did despite all the gel in it, those stupidly big brown eyes that made him melt into a puddle of lovestruck dumbass. That was all why, and it was probably going to be the death of him. It took the barista calling “ _ next _ ” at least three times for him to snap out of it and apologize. Yeah, Eddie was going to be the death of him.

With a gay-ass frilly drink in hand, he walked right back over to stand next to Eddie, slurping his drink obnoxiously and using Eddie’s head as an armrest. Richie wondered how difficult it would be to make him break with the pressure of the youth leader being there. “Brandon! How are you today?”

“I’m doing just fine, Ryan. It’s totally awesome seeing you here, I didn’t know you’d be coming!”

“Neither did I!” Eddie said cheerily, far too happily for Richie’s taste. He sensed some murderous undertones there. “Isn’t it just a  _ pleasure _ to see him get more involved, pastor?”

“It’s always lit as heck to see someone get more into the church, so you know it’s totally epic in my book  _ and  _ the Lord’s book.”

Trying his best not to wince at every word coming out of Brandon’s mouth, Richie didn’t bother correcting him on his name and just pasted on the fakest smile he’d ever had to fake, forcing out a laugh. “You know me, always trying to get on God’s good side!” 

He felt a hand on his arm, gentle at first, then pinching him so hard he yelped. Innocent doe eyes turned to look at him, a stare full of hellfire and death. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?” Eddie’s voice was childlike, yet still screamed  _ I will fucking kill you if you don’t move your arm. _ So, Richie did what any strong, douchey gay man would do. He moved his arm far away from Eddie’s head for fear of losing it, and proceeded to sit down like a scolded child. 

“No, I’m good. Just surprised me is all.” 

“Good, I’d never want to hurt you,” Eddie gushed, murder in his eyes. 

“You two seem to be getting along really well!” Brandon said, too happy for Richie’s liking. “Ryland, do you play any instruments?”

“Uh, I’m sure he doesn’t-”

“Actually,” The blood had drained from Eddie’s face, and Richie wanted to know why. “I’ve been playing the piano since I was a kid. My mom made me take lessons after she figured out it kept me from practically bouncing off the walls, so I think I’m pretty fu- uh, freaking good at it.”

“That’s rad as heck, man,” Even Eddie seemed to cringe at the way Brandon spoke. “Would you want to join the worship team? Eddie and Patrick just don’t seem to get along, but you two look like you’ve clicked!”

Didn’t get along was a fucking understatement. Richie knew what a mean, homophobic bastard Patrick Hockstetter was, and after Sonia’s little stunt the other day, he wouldn’t be surprised if Eddie’s torso was mottled with new bruises. “I’ll definitely think about it. What about Hockstetter? I mean, Patrick?”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind stepping down for you. You’re a pretty cool dude!” 

Except he likely would. Not that he’d actually do anything about it, not since Richie had outgrown him by a good three inches. Patrick had stayed a beanpole, while he’d filled in more than the douchebag likely ever would. But still, he was  _ not  _ too keen on the idea of poking the kinda malnourished looking bear. 

“Well…”

“No, he really wouldn’t want to!” Eddie butted in, voice tinged with mania. “He’s pretty busy, school and work and all!”

“Actually, I’ll consider it,” It seemed to be bothering Eddie, and an evil little idea was already forming in his mind. 

“You’ll what.” 

“Give me a week and I’ll figure out if I can join, sound good?”

“Heck yeah it does, Richie!” Brandon exclaimed, finally getting his fucking name right. Eddie stared at him, horrified and face devoid of color. “Here’s my number, just text me if you need me.”

With the pastor having added him as a contact, Richie wondered what the fuck he was doing. All this for Eddie’s attention. The bell on the door jingled and jangled, notifying them of more people arriving. 

The group itself was boring as hell. There was Greta, who chewed her gum far too loudly and stared at him like she wanted him dead, and her friend that stared at Eddie like she also wanted him dead. The small group truly was small, and Richie spent his time making mildly crude jokes and glaring at the girls whenever they so much as looked at Eddie wrong. If he made a few underhanded jokes at their expense, that was nobody’s business.

At some point, Eddie seemed to notice this and got a funny look on his face. Richie wasn’t sure what to call it, but if he didn’t know any better, he would have called it gratefulness. Eddie shook his head like he was trying to clear an etch a sketch and snapped a rubber band that sat snugly on his wrist. Wincing at the red welt forming on Eddie's arm, Richie wondered what the hell that had been for. 

Thankfully, the group was only about an hour long, he’d simply arrived too early. Like, half an hour too early. “Hey pastor, what time does group usually start at?”

“Oh, it’s usually at 10:30!”

“Really now?” Turning to look at Eddie, he noticed the boy making a point to look anywhere but at him. The tips of his ears were red again, though. Reaching down, Eddie snapped the rubber band again. “Interesting. I’ll keep that in mind, thanks Brandon!”

“No problem, bro! Hope to see you on Thursday.”

“Hell- uh, heck yeah!” It was his turn to avoid someone’s gaze. He’d never felt so ashamed for cursing before. “See you then.”

Then it was just him and Eddie.

“So, the worship team.” 

“If you join, I’ll kill you in your sleep,” Eddie said, sounding more tired than anything.

“I won’t join.”

“Really?” The hope in Eddie’s voice made him smile. Poor fucker didn’t know what was coming.

“If, and only if, you agree to hang out with me on Wednesday night.”

There was a silence, one that left Richie looking around for something to defend himself with in case Eddie decided to try and really end his life right then and there.

“I really fucking hate you,” Sighing, Eddie buried his face in his hands. “Fine. I’ll go. But you can’t join the team.”

“Why not? Hockstetter hates you.”

Eddie winced at the name, staring down at the ring of condensation his drink had left on the table. “It’s like, the one thing I actually enjoy in life.”

That had taken a turn, one Richie hadn’t expected. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. Did you know that singing is a natural antidepressant?” Dragging his finger through the ring, Eddie played with the water, making a little smiley face. “It releases endorphins or some shit.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, well, now you do. I don’t care if Hockstetter hates me, I love doing it. He can get fucked.”

“Does he hurt you?”

Eddie’s finger stopped, and he sucked in a deep breath, closing his eyes. “Does it matter?”

“To me it does.”

There was that look again. Something like gratitude, wonder, confusion. 

_ snap _

Furrowing his brow, Richie grabbed Eddie’s wrist and yanked off the rubber band, ignoring his annoyed cry. Tossing it in the trash, he took his cool drink and pressed it to the welts on Eddie’s wrist. “Quit fucking doing that, you’re hurting yourself.”

“No, I need it,” He sounded so desperate for a stupid goddamn rubber band. 

“No, you don’t,” Outside, Sonia’s car pulled up. “What you need is to go home and ice this shit, dumbass.”

Sonia honked twice, and Eddie was up and almost out the door immediately. “Sure. Thanks, Rich.”

“Hey, Eds,” Looking back at him with those  _ eyes _ , Eddie stopped for a second. “I’ll pick you up at six on Wednesday.”

Expression clouding over, he threw Richie a glare. “Whatever.”

Just like that, Eddie was gone. 

_ Thanks, Rich. _

Richie thought he could spend the rest of his life listening to Eddie say his name like that, warmly and happily. The rest of his fucking life.

Wednesday couldn’t come soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did Eddie give Richie the wrong time for the small group so he could spend more time with him or just because he's a dumbass? What is the rubber band for? Will I ever figure out a new way to describe Eddie's fucking eyes? The world may never know!
> 
> This is honestly one of my favorite chapters, so I hope y'all enjoyed it! Update schedule is erratic because it's basically gone from "Oh, I'll update once a week" to "Oh, I'll update twice a week" to "I'll just fucking update whenever I finish a new scene". It really be like that sometimes.


	5. My Heart Is Hungry, My Spirit Doth Thirst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thing about hanging out with Eddie on Wednesday is that he had completely forgotten how much Sonia Kaspbrak despised him. Meaning, he was stuck at the door, fist ready to pound at it, but he was too scared to actually do so. It was five fifty nine, so he was very surprised when the door swung open just as he raised his fist to knock.

The thing about hanging out with Eddie on Wednesday is that he had completely forgotten how much Sonia Kaspbrak despised him. Meaning, he was stuck at the door, fist ready to pound at it, but he was too scared to actually do so. It was five fifty nine, so he was very surprised when the door swung open just as he raised his fist to knock. 

There she was. Sonia stood and narrowed her eyes as if trying to place where she knew him from. Recognition dawned on her face, followed by a reddening of the cheeks. Richie wasn’t religious, but this woman struck the fear of God into his heart, and he was  _ really  _ feeling that shit right now.

“Hello Mrs. Kaspbrak,” He croaked. “Before you say anything, I just wanted to tell you how much I loved your sermon on Sunday.”

That seemed to surprise her, and she seemed to relax at least a little. “Oh, really?  _ You _ liked it?” 

_ You’re sick! _

Richie tried his best not to wince at the memory of her screaming those words at his younger self, leaving him in tears, wondering what he’d done wrong. “How could I not? I’m a healed man, ma’am.”

“A...what?”

“A healed man. Once I truly allowed God to work in my life, he healed me of my homosexuality,” He swallowed his pride, spewing lies to her face and wishing he could be screaming curses instead. “It’s been an amazing experience, and your preaching has helped me through a lot of it!”

“Well, I have had a lot of people tell me that,” She preened, proud and hideously happy. “I’m very glad you’ve been saved, Richie.”

It was surprising that she remembered his name, after all, he wasn’t the only friend Eddie had ever had, right? 

“Me too, Mrs. Kaspbrak.”

“Please, call me Sonia,” Moving aside, she gestured for Richie to enter. “Please, come in.”

It could  _ not _ be this easy to win this fucking woman over again. 

Apparently, it was that easy to win her over again. Within minutes, he was sat down at the table of a house he still knew like the back of his hand after six years. It hadn’t changed a bit. The stains on the ceiling were the same, the marks on the table from where he and Eddie had written a letter in pen just a bit too hard were still there, Sonia’s apron was in the exact same place in the kitchen. Not a single thing was different. 

Sonia made small talk while they waited for Eddie. She and her sour breath talked about her upcoming sermons, asked about how he’d been the past few years, about his walk with God. He bullshitted it entirely, making mental notes of all the things he said so he wouldn’t get his lies mixed up. 

“Mom? Who are you talking-” Eddie came around the corner, glass of water in hand. The moment he saw Richie was the moment his eyes went comically wide, jaw literally dropping open. “ _ Richie? _ ”

“Sweetie, you never mentioned that the friend you were going with was Richie!” Sonia said, and immediately Richie realized that he may have fucked up. Eddie didn’t know exactly what Richie had lied about, and Richie hadn’t known whether Eddie had lied about him. 

“Y-yeah mom. He was-”

“Healed, I know! Richie, did you go to a therapy group for it?”

A therapy group? Is that what she thought conversion therapy was? “No, actually. It all just seemed to work out for me, I guess.”

“Oh, Eddie here took a while to heal. How long was it, sweetie?”

“On and off for five or six years,” Eddie ground out through clenched teeth, eyes glistening with tears.

“Yes, that’s right,” Sonia mused. Smiling over at him, she made a shooing motion with her hands. “Go on ahead and have fun, boys!”

“Of course, Mrs. Kaspbrak,” Richie said a bit too happily, tripping over his chair as he got up.

“Come over for dinner sometime, just like old times! I’d love to catch up with Maggie.”

“Of course, Mrs. Kaspbrak,” He repeated, grabbing Eddie by the arm and leading him out quickly. “I’ll be sure to tell her!”

Slamming the door shut behind them, Richie ushered Eddie to the car, glass of water and all. Throwing the car door open, Richie shoved Eddie in, ignoring his indignant cry before going around and driving off before Sonia could come out and change her mind. 

“How in the  _ fuck _ did you win my mom back over?!” Eddie practically screamed. “I’ve spent the past six years trying to fix her opinion of you and you somehow manage to do it in  _ ten minutes?! _ ”

“Aw, Eds! You’ve been trying to make her stop hating my gay ass?” The thought actually did warm his heart, he hadn’t known Eddie had even thought of him since that day when they were twelve. 

“Shut the fuck up, Richie. What the hell did you say?”

“Which is it? Do you want me to shut the fuck up or not?”

“I won’t hesitate to fucking kill you. I literally will not hesitate.”

“Put on your seatbelt, dumbass,” Richie punched him in the arm. “I told her I’m healed of my homosexuality and she bought it. That and I smiled at her really big.”

Just to spite Eddie, he gave it some gas and braked  _ hard _ , nearly sending poor Eddie through the windshield. He simply smiled at the heated glare he got, miming putting a seatbelt on with a shit-eating grin spread across his face. 

Eddie was very quiet for the rest of the drive, pensive. He stared out the window, watching the too familiar scenery and sighing every so often. Richie considered turning on the music, but the quiet was just so heavy that it was almost its own sound. 

He was aware that this wasn’t a date, but if you took away the fact that Eddie hated him, it sure felt like one. They drove around on thiat sunny summer day, all the way ‘till they left Derry, this cursed fucking town.

“Where are we going?” Eddie finally asked, breaking the tense silence.

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

“That’s not an answer,” Richie laughed at his frown, after all, it was absolutely fucking precious on him. “That’s not an answer, Rich!”

They both went quiet, thinking of better times. 

“...ie. Richie. Your name.”

“Yeah, Eds. That sure is my name.”

“Shut up.”

So he did. In fact, they stayed quiet for another ten or so miles, until they pulled into the parking lot of a small, run-down diner. 

“Here? Do you know how many fucking decades worth of filth are probably in there?”

“It’s cool, I come here all the time and I’m not dead yet, so.”

“That literally tells me nothing. My immune system is delicate, for all you know I could catch something terrible here and I’ll never be the same, I could even die-”

“Eddie?” Richie interrupted his little tangent, pressing a finger to Eddie’s lips and wondering why the fuck he thought it had been a good idea to go anywhere near his lips. “Shut the hell up and get out of the car, we’re eating here.”

“No the fuck I’m not! I’m going back home!”

“Sure you are,” Getting out of the car and spinning on his heel, Richie stuffed his hands in his pockets and began walking towards the door. “Have fun walking forty miles!”

Halfway to the door, he heard the car door slam so hard he winced, followed by an angry huff and footsteps. He simply looked back and used the key fob to lock the car, then opened the door for Eddie. He could be a gentleman if he tried.

“I can open my own fucking doors.”

“I know.”

Huffing, Eddie pushed past him into the diner.

It was a quaint little retro diner that looked far better on the inside than it did on the outside. With a pastel pink and mint aesthetic, the barstools were reminiscent of marshmallows, while the booths almost looked like wafer cookies. Richie wasn’t sure whether or not it was purposeful or if the owner just liked the color scheme, but it worked well for them either way. 

“Oh,” Eddie stopped, taking in his decidedly not disgusting surroundings with the expression of a kid in a candy store. 

“Yeah,  _ oh.  _ Not a germ in sight.”

“Well actually-”

“For the love of God, shut up and pick a place to sit.”

“Stop using the Lord’s name in vain.”

“Stop standing like an idiot and sit so we can order.”

Eddie walked from booth to booth like a hummingbird contemplating between which flower it should choose. Hell, he kinda looked like one too. The kid was tiny, just small enough that Richie could probably pick him up and just hold him close. 

“This one. It looks cleanest.”

“It literally looks just like every other fucking booth.”

“No. This one,” Eddie insisted.

He couldn’t exactly complain, the seat got them a nice view of the bar and the kitchen while also giving them a chance to see the occasional car zipping by. This really was the kind of place you just drove by without a second thought, but it was his place. 

“Whatever you say, Eds.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Alrighty, Eddie Spaghetti!”

“I’ll fucking kill you, I really and truly will. Just give me a fucking butter knife or some shit and I swear-”

“How are you boys doing today?” 

Eddie just about jumped out of his skin, plastering on his famous fake pastor kid smile and sizing up the waitress. She was average height, yet gave off an energy that made her seem six feet tall. With a grin the size of Texas and a toothpick held between her painted red lips, she was pretty, young, and Richie’s second favorite person in the world. 

“Hey, Bev. We’re great, he’s just a little jumpy from driving with me.”

“Jesus, I’d be jumpy too, you drive like a fucking crazy person.” 

“Bev, this is my good friend Eddie,” Richie gestured at her and back to him. “Eds, this is Beverly, the single most fantastic woman on God’s green earth.”

“Hello, I’m Eddie Kaspbrak. Sorry about this idiot.”

“Hey, that’s my idiot you’re talking about,” Beverly furrowed her brows, taking a slightly defensive stance. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Eddie.”

“I, uh, I’m sorry,” Eddie stammered. “You- you have?

“It’s fine, Bev. That’s just the way we talk to each other. I might be an idiot, but he’s a dumbass, so it all evens out.” 

“Alright, if you say so. And no worries, I’ve only heard good things,” Gnawing on her toothpick, Beverly put her hand on her hip and grinned down at Eddie. “What do you wanna eat today? The usual?”

“Yeah, same thing for him. Thanks, Bev!”

“The usual? What’s the usual? I’ll just take a salad with no, thank you.”

“What flavor shake do you want?”

“Shake? I’m lactose intolerant.”

“I have some dairy relief pills, don’t worry!” Beverly piped up.

“You were never lactose intolerant, liar! We would have ice cream all the time and you never shit your pants,” Richie added, very matter of factly. 

“Well, I am!” Eddie insisted, cheeks flushing a bright red. 

“We’ll have strawberry.”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll be back in a bit,” She said, turning on her heel and walking off to take the order of a cute elderly couple. 

“Y’know, you don’t have to do the pastor kid smile out here. We’re not in Derry.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Eddie was looking anywhere but at Richie. He knew exactly what Richie was talking about.

“You totally do. You don’t have to do it out here, nobody’s watching you the way they do over at home.”

“How can you be sure?”

“There are literally two other people here that can see you aside from Bev, and I know she doesn’t go to church.”

“The other ones don’t look familiar either,” Eddie said uncertainly, but he seemed satisfied. “Anyway, what did you order for me?”

“Just a classic burger and fries.”

“I can’t eat gluten.”

“Yeah, that’s a lie. You used to eat it all the time and you’re fine.”

“Fuck you, man. I could die!”

“And wouldn’t that be a tragedy,” Richie drawled.

“Hey!”

They bickered over Eddie’s so-called food allergies, which were just about every good thing in life. Hell, he was allergic to things Richie didn’t even know you could be allergic to. Their shake and burgers arrived, leaving Richie digging right in and Eddie staring at his food like it was going to bite him instead of vice versa. 

“Just eat it, I swear you’ll love it,” He insisted, gesturing at the uneaten and cooling burger. 

“I c-”

A thought popped into his head. “Fine. Looks like I’m braver than you are, eating ‘dangerous’ food and shit.”

“ _ Excuse  _ me?” Eddie asked, fury and that classic competitiveness sneaking into his eyes. Perfect.

“You heard me.”

With that, Eddie fearlessly picked up his burger and took a massive bite out of it. Slowly, he chewed. 

And chewed.

And  _ moaned _ .

“Oh my  _ God _ .”

Richie would have responded, but alas, he was but a horny teen whose mouth had gone completely dry at the fucking sinful noises coming out of the pastor’s son. He was vaguely aware that his jaw had dropped and that his brain had shorted out, but he couldn’t stop staring at the absolutely blissed out look on Eddie’s face.

“Is it-” Richie croaked, choking on his own spit. “Is it good?”

“This is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”

“Do you think God’ll be pissed that you just used his name in vain?”

“I think he’ll understand that this burger is worth it.”

They were silent for most of the rest of the meal, mainly because they were busy stuffing their faces with the best burgers known to mankind, but also because they were recovering from stuffing their faces and trying not to go into a fucking food coma.

“You good to share the shake?”

“I’m lactose…” Eddie trailed off, staring down the strawberry shake sitting before them, whipped cream and a cherry on top. “Yeah, sure.”

They both whipped out their spoons and battled for the whipped cream, while Richie turned up his nose at the cherry and watched as Eddie ate it just like they used to. It was the rule, they shared the whipped cream and Eddie got the cherry, that was just the way things had always been. It was insane that they still remembered it at all, but the fact that they did said something. Richie wasn’t sure what it was, but it was something. 

“I missed shakes so much, holy shit,” Eddie gushed. “I missed this.”

“What, me?”

A funny look flitted across Eddie’s face before it was replaced by him huffing and rolling his eyes. “Fuck no, I meant the food. I haven’t eaten anything but organic and vegan shit for like, six years.”

“Hang out with me a little more often and you’ll get more of it.”

Pursing his lips, Eddie stared him down,  _ hard _ . Richie could practically hear the gears in his head turning. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?” 

“What, is that not good enough for you?”

Holy shit, maybe was more than good enough for him. Maybe was more than he’d ever let himself hope for. Richie had been convinced that this would be a one time thing only and he’d never see Eddie outside of church ever again. After all, there was only so much he could blackmail him with, and the worship team thing would only work for so long. 

“‘Course it is. You ready to go? It’s gonna get dark soon and I think your mom would fucking kill me if I got you home after like, nine.”

“Honestly? You’re probably right,” Eddie said resignedly. 

“Dude, you turn eighteen in a few months and your curfew is nine?”

“It’s not like I have many friends to go out with,” He snapped.

Raising his hands up in surrender, Richie put down forty bucks. Eighteen for the food and the rest for Bev, God knows she deserved it. 

“Jesus, was it really that much?”

“Nah, I just like to tip her well.”

Eddie smiled, small and soft and sweet. Richie thought he’d like to match that smile and kiss it with his own. 

Despite the glares it earned him, Richie opened the doors for Eddie, both the one to the diner and the car door. While he was aware that Eddie had hands and could do it himself, he was still going to be a goddamn gentleman and continue pretending that this was a date. 

The car ride home was a bit sad. Neither of them seemed to want to go home, and though it could have been his imagination, Richie thought Eddie might want to go home even less than he did. He sat, staring out the window like someone in his family had died or some shit. 

“You okay?” Richie asked, a kind of softness to his voice. 

“Do you care?” Eddie asked back, some completely unnecessary venom to it.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m asking, asshole.”

“Well,  _ don’t. _ ”

“What, do straighties like you not discuss their feelings with the gays?” Richie spit out, regretting it immediately. 

“ _ Excuse me?” _

“You fucking heard me. Are you so great and straight that you can’t even discuss your feelings anymore?” He really wanted to apologize, but the words just weren’t coming out. Why wouldn’t the words just come out?

“Listen up, you massive asshole-”

“No, you listen up. You think you’re so high and mighty just because you sat around in a sharing circle and sang a straight version of kumbaya that now you can look down on me?” He snapped, turning into Eddie’s neighborhood. “That you can call me sick and then bitch me out just for asking how you’re doing? Fuck you, man.”

“You think that’s what they did?” Eddie said, the disbelief clear in his voice. “Are you  _ fucking  _ kidding me, Rich?”

Eddie never called him that unless it was serious. Parking, Richie turned to properly look at Eddie and immediately regretted it. 

“You think we sat around and talked about our feelings? That we sat there and just, what, prayed the gay away?” Eddie sneered, cheeks flushed red with fury and tears in his eyes. “Try sitting and being forced to watch gay porn for them, to have them make you  _ puke _ when you react to it. Try getting shocked and screamed at for it, being  _ humiliated _ for something you can’t fucking help.”

Eddie was screaming and crying at that point, seatbelt unbuckled and nearly standing to tower over Richie in the car. Shrinking back, Richie tried to form an apology but couldn’t. He just couldn’t. He was stunned into silence, and the words just weren’t fucking forming. What would he even say?

“So fuck you, Richie. Fuck. You.” Unlocking his own door, Eddie threw it open and slammed it shut behind him hard enough to make the car shake. 

Watching Eddie walk away, Richie thought that he might have fucked up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jinkies, this one really hurt to fucking write. I'm almost done writing the entire fic, so when I do, I'll be switching over to daily updates!
> 
> So, in case y'all want a bit more info on conversion therapy, try checking [this](https://www.hrc.org/resources/the-lies-and-dangers-of-reparative-therapy), [this](http://www.nclrights.org/bornperfect-the-facts-about-conversion-therapy/), and [this](https://sexinfo.soc.ucsb.edu/article/conversion-therapy) out. I wouldn't recommend it if you're triggered by any aspects of extreme homophobia, as the articles are based around that.
> 
> If I got anything wrong or you have any other articles or posts you find informational that you'd like me to add to these notes, just comment below or message me on instagram at @archangelica_angelica or on tumblr at eddiesdeaddie


	6. Look At All The Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie had definitely fucked up, but he was far too proud and far too stupid to admit it to himself. Or to Eddie. Actually, especially to Eddie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song inspo is Honeybee by The Head And The Heart

Richie had definitely fucked up. 

Now, he was totally aware of this, but he was far too proud and far too stupid to admit it to himself. Or to Eddie. Actually, especially to Eddie. He probably (definitely) deserved an apology, but Richie was far too much of a dumbass to actually do something. 

It took a solid two weeks of being completely ignored at small groups, youth group, and Sunday morning church for him to get off his ass and decide to get his shit together. Watching Eddie croon sweet tunes into the microphone and not be able to say a thing to him about it afterwards was driving him insane. Hearing his laugh when he spoke to others and not being able to be the one to make him let out that beautiful noise was making him go absolutely fucking  _ crazy _ . He was about halfway aware that it was his own fault, but he didn’t exactly know what to do to fix things.

On the third Thursday of Eddie breezing right by him as if he didn’t exist, Richie had a brilliant idea. An incredibly stupid one, yes, but an idea nonetheless. 

That was how Richie ended up climbing onto Eddie’s roof at one in the morning. Richie knew he wasn’t asleep, his light was still on and Eddie had gotten over his fear of the dark when he was ten. He knew that all too well, he was the one who’d snuck in through the window and slept next to Eddie until the day he could sleep alone with the lights off without shaking like a leaf. 

He only had one free hand at the moment, so things weren’t going too well for him. Praying that he didn’t fall and break his neck, he scaled the drain pipe and crawled over to the slightly open window. That was surprising, Richie had assumed Eddie would have stopped leaving the window open after they stopped speaking. After all, it wasn’t like he had anyone to climb into bed and read comics with at three a.m, right? Right? 

His hand stopped halfway to the window, his brows furrowing at the quiet mumbling and the sound of sniffling. Like, the crying kind of sniffle. Peering inside, Richie listened closely. He only heard every other word, but what he did hear tore his heart into tiny pieces.

“God...heal...I want...make me normal. Please make me normal.”

The last bit was very clear, said in a voice that was dangerously loud for someone who lived in a house with such thin walls. For his sake, Richie hoped that Sonia hadn’t forgotten to take her sleeping pills.

Reaching over, Richie slid the window open, jumping when Eddie screamed. “What the fuck!”

“Calm down, it’s just me,” Climbing in, he hopped down onto the plush carpet. He felt like he was home again. “I have something for you.”

“Get out,” Eddie growled, grabbing his useless baseball bat. It had been a tenth birthday present, but Sonia had never let him play. She claimed he was too fragile for baseball, and the look on Eddie’s face had made Richie’s heart break. “I’ll bash your head in, I really fucking will.”

“You really haven’t changed anything, huh?” The room was neater than the last time he’d been there, probably because he wasn’t popping in and messing stuff up anymore. That had always gotten Eddie pissy, but he never actually meant it when he got angry. 

“Why are you here, Richie?” 

“I wanted to say sorry,” Richie said softly, holding out a fistful of flowers. Daisies, Eddie’s favorite. 

“I’m allergic to-”

“Just take them, you and I both know that’s a bullshit lie,” He interrupted, grabbing Eddie’s free hand and putting the flowers in it. 

“It’s not! My mom says so.”

“She also said conversion therapy was good for you.”

That stunned Eddie into silence. It was a sad one, one where his eyes slowly filled with tears before they spilled over onto his cheeks and fell to the floor. Dropping the baseball bat, he clutched the daisies to his chest and sat back down on his bed. 

“I’m sorry for being an insensitive dick.”

Carefully, slowly, Richie walked over and sat down next to Eddie, trying to figure out the emotions that were plaguing him at that very moment. Sorrow was obvious, but there was something else in there, something like a revelation, like resentment and anger. He didn’t know who it was directed at, but he hoped to God it wasn’t him. The last thing he ever wanted to do was make Eddie feel like this, especially when he was in this state. 

“I forgive you, Rich,” Eddie whispered, sniffling. 

“Is it okay if I give you a hug?” 

He nodded, lip trembling. Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie, pulling him in for their first hug in years. It felt like he’d finally come back home, like a missing piece of him was back where it was supposed to be. 

Eddie, however, lost it. Face crumpling, he let out a broken noise and just sobbed into Richie’s shirt. Climbing into his lap, Eddie buried his face into Richie’s shoulder and simply cried himself hoarse. Richie had no idea what to do other than to whisper nonsense comfort, some of which didn’t even count as real words, just noises to keep Eddie calm. Rubbing his back and running his fingers through Eddie’s hair, Richie felt himself start tearing up along with him. Willing the tears away, he kept at it, trying to bring Eddie back.

“I’m so sorry they did that to you, Eds,” Richie whispered in his ear.

“I’m sick, Richie. She s-said I’m sick. They all did,” Eddie hiccuped, the pain in his voice palpable.

“You’re not, I promise that you’re not.”

“How d-do you know?” He was crying so hard that he almost sounded like Bill when he tried to talk. 

“Someone once told me that people wrote the bible, and people read the bible, but God isn’t telling us how to read it,” Richie said, quoting something Eddie had said oh so long ago. “He said that we read it the way we want to, and that God loves us, but people hate each other for dumb shit. He said that he didn’t think it was wrong, and he said I’m not sick.”

“Who told you that?” Eddie asked, voice nasal and snotty.

“You did, dumbass.”

“I did?” He sounded shocked as hell. Richie realized he probably shouldn’t be calling him a dumbass right now.

“Yeah, the day we…” Richie stopped himself, not wanting to say much more than that. 

“I did, didn’t I?” 

“People are cruel, but God isn’t,” Richie repeated. “I don’t know what I believe in, but I do know that if there’s a God out there, then he wouldn’t think someone is sick just because they love someone.”

They sat there quietly for what seemed like hours. For all he knew, it really was hours, but he didn’t mind. At some point, Richie shifted them so they were laying down, all tangled up in each other just the way they used to be, not wanting to be apart for even a second. 

“Richie?” Eddie whispered, turning and putting the daisies in a glass of water.

“Yeah, Eds?”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

_ more than you’ll ever know. _

They fell asleep just like that, a tangle of gangly limbs they hadn’t grown into yet, sleeping more soundly than either of them had in years. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many times will I make Eddie cry? A lot. Like, a lot a lot. Sorry ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	7. O For a Thousand Tongues To Sing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We should tell your mom that we’re gonna hang out after small group on Saturday and just skip,” Richie said, slinging his arm around Eddie’s shoulder. Thursday youth had just ended, and it was Richie’s new job to drive Eddie back home, according to Sonia Kaspbrak. Not that Richie minded, it was just that the last time they were in a car together, it didn’t end very well. 

“We should tell your mom that we’re gonna hang out after small group on Saturday and just skip,” Richie said, slinging his arm around Eddie’s shoulder. Thursday youth had just ended, and it was Richie’s new job to drive Eddie back home, according to Sonia Kaspbrak. Not that Richie minded, it was just that the last time they were in a car together, it didn’t end very well. 

“Skip? That’s fucking stupid, why don’t we just go and hang out afterwards?”

“Because I want to get my tongue pierced and I want it done early in the day before I’m awake enough to have second thoughts!”

“You want your  _ what  _ pierced?”

“Tongue. It’s not that bad, I could say I want a Prince Albert.”

“What’s a Prince-” Eddie stopped himself. “Actually, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.”

“No, you really don’t,” Richie snickered. “Anyway, come with me! I need moral support, Eds.”

“Fine, fine. I can’t believe I let you talk me into this shit.”

That’s how they ended up on their way to a tattoo shop two towns away on a nice Saturday morning, right when they should be at Pastor Brandon’s house eating cookies or some shit. It didn’t sound like a terrible idea, and Eddie was already fidgeting at the idea of doing something Sonia would likely kill him for, but this was definitely the much more fun option in the equation. 

“Music?”

“Nah, I like looking at the scenery,” Eddie smiled over at him, a soft thing that made Richie’s heart soar.

It was no small miracle that Sonia allowed Eddie to go  _ anywhere  _ with Richie. It was shocking, how quickly she’d accepted him back into their lives, but both he and Eddie suspected it was due to Eddie’s distinct lack of friends. 

Richie both did and didn’t mind. On one hand, Eddie had no friends. It was sad, because he was easily the most amazing person Richie had ever met, and he wasn’t just saying that because he had a big gay crush on him. He was a lonely person, and it was obvious. It showed in the way that Eddie soaked in every last bit of attention Richie gave him, in the way he latched onto him like an octopus and just wouldn’t let go. 

On the other hand, Richie had Eddie all to himself. Sonia had  _ somehow _ come to like Richie after he’d  _ somehow  _ convinced her that he was a perfectly straight, perfectly christian boy that would never harm a hair on her little boy’s head. About one third of that description was correct, and it certainly wasn’t the first bit. 

He was happy as hell to be able to cart Eddie around wherever they wanted to go. Within reason, of course, but they’d already started mending their broken relationship. It could get rocky, and Eddie insisted on having that stupid fucking rubber band on at all times, but it was good.

That goddamn rubber band. Richie could safely say that it was his least favorite thing on this earth. They’d be talking, and out of nowhere, Eddie’s face would go completely blank before  _ snap _ went the rubber band. He’d always kind of shut down afterwards, but Richie always managed to coax him back out of his shell. Some days were worse than others, but usually it wasn’t too bad.

The problem with the bad days was that they were  _ bad.  _ As in, Richie would come crawling into Eddie’s room to find him sobbing, wrist bright red and covered in angry welts. Those were the days Richie would sit and talk about anything but that, pressing an ice pack to Eddie’s wrist as he listened and sniffled. But sometimes, they’d lay in bed until Eddie fell asleep on his chest. Those were the days he thought that maybe not everything was bad.

“Are we there yet?” Eddie complained after driving for about an hour, though Richie knew he loved being in the car. 

“Almost. Hey, wanna open the sunroof?” Richie asked, already reaching for the button to open it.

“No!” Eddie shrieked, batting Richie’s hand away. “You’ll let the germs in!”

“I’ll...what?”

“Nothing, just,” He huffed, turning away from Richie. “Let’s leave it closed, I’m cold.”

“It’s October. Cold isn’t a thing yet.”

“Well it’s cold!”

Richie opted to ignore it, just continuing to drive and think, lost in his own mind.

His crush on Eddie was becoming a bit problematic. Everything the kid did made Richie want to kiss him, no matter how little. Not just on the lips either, he would be fine with the forehead, or even the cheek. He would definitely prefer the lips, though. 

Turning into the parking lot, Richie suddenly remembered why they were here in the first place.

“So, why a tongue piercing?”

“I’ve heard it makes sucking dick better.”

He didn’t think he’d ever seen anyone go as red as Eddie did in that moment, the tips of his ears and cheeks flushing and his eyes going wide. “That’s disgusting, Richie.”

“Actually, it sounds pretty great, don’t you think? A blowjob with a little barbell on the guy’s-”

“Beep beep Richie, I’m gonna puke,” Eddie actually was looking a little green around the gills, so he stopped. It’d been a while since he’d gotten beep beep’d, and knowing that Eddie still remembered it at all made something in his chest flutter. He made a mental note to mention it to his doctor, that certainly wasn’t normal. 

“Sorry. In all seriousness though, I just think tongue piercings are cool. That and I’m probably going through a late rebellious phase.”

“Shit dude, how are you going to hide this from your mom? It’s not like you can just stop talking, that’ll be suspicious.”

“We don’t talk a lot anymore, I don’t think she’ll notice.”

“You don’t talk a lot? Jesus, who fucking died?” Eddie joked.

“My dad died like two years ago, so it’s been pretty quiet since then,” Richie said, trying for nonchalant and ending up just sounding bitter and sad. Which, he supposed, he was both bitter and sad. 

Eddie was stunned into silence, not trusting himself to say a word. It was a terrible minute of silence, most of which was spent with Richie wishing he’d never said a thing. 

“I wasn’t there,” Eddie said softly.

“No, you weren’t.”

“I’m so sorry, Rich.”

He wasn’t sure when he’d started crying, but he was  _ crying _ , the tears coming down his cheeks like someone had turned on a faucet. It didn’t hurt as bad as it had two years ago, but when you ignore the fact that it had happened for that long, tiny things tend to trigger tears. 

Richie remembered being at the funeral and wishing that he was still on speaking terms with Eddie, because while he still had his other friends, they just weren’t Eddie. Nobody was, and nobody ever would be. Richie had quickly learned that Eddie had been an irreplaceable part of his life, and reconnecting with him had only further confirmed that theory. 

Eddie hugged him from across the car, and Richie was suddenly very glad that they were parked, because he really and truly couldn’t see through the tears filling his eyes. He wasn’t sobbing, he was actually really calm, he just couldn’t seem to turn off the tears.

“I should have been there,” Eddie said softly. “I’m sorry I wasn’t.”

“Not your fault. Hey, let’s go get me a tongue piercing, how about that?” He said, masterfully changing the subject. 

“Sure, Rich,” Eddie smiled at him, but there was a sadness to it. “Anything for you.”

Richie couldn’t explain why that was what made him start crying harder, but it really did. Memories of him, Eddie, and his dad all going to get ice cream on a hot summer day or hot chocolate on cold winter nights flitted through his head and he suddenly really fucking missed his dad. 

“Sorry, I’m just,” Richie sniffled, embarrassed. “Do you remember when we went to the fair?”

“Yeah, and you got food poisoning?”

“Mm-hmm, that one.”

“And your dad puked because you puked? That was the most supportive dad thing I’ve ever seen.”

“He did puke, didn’t he? I just remember him carrying us upside down and laughing on rides.”

“He almost threw me off the carousel! I could have died, Richie!”

“But you lived,” Richie laughed, wiping his nose on his sleeve. He’d stopped crying, giggles overtaking the tears.

“I did,” Eddie said. “And I lived to be your friend again, too.”

“I’m really fucking glad you don’t hate me anymore.”

“What?” Eddie asked, looking shocked. “Is that what you thought?”

“I mean, you literally told me you hated me a few times, so yeah.”

“I never really hated you, Rich. I wanted to, and believe me when I said I tried to, but I never hated you. I don’t think I ever could.”

That right there was something Richie never expected to hear from Eddie. He’d spent all these years blaming himself for everything that had happened to Eddie, and he didn’t even blame him for it?

“Oh, well fuck me,” Richie said softly.

_ snap _

__ “Quit it with the rubber band, dammit.”

“Fine, okay, okay.”

A peaceful quiet came over the car, and they sat there just like that for a good bit. Eddie rested his head on the seat and stared right at Richie, and for a second, Richie could have sworn he saw  _ something  _ in his eyes. Something, but he couldn’t be quite sure what. 

“Do you think they’ll let me get my tongue pierced even if I’m a snotty mess?” Richie asked after a few minutes. 

“I think they will, just don’t get any on them or in your mouth.”

“Oh that’s  _ disgusting _ !”

The piercing of the tongue went well enough, though it left both Richie and Eddie in pain; Richie due to the piercer having taken his sweet time sliding the needle through his tongue, and Eddie because Richie had nearly broken the hand he’d offered to hold. (but it did leave Richie unable to speak very well and Eddie with a very sore hand.)

“‘M thorry ‘bout yur hand.”

“I’m sorry it took the guy so long to get the needle through!” Eddie said, wincing at the memory. Richie nearly broke his hand, but the piercing looked cool as hell so he supposed the painful hand was worth his friend’s happiness. 

“Me too. God, that hurt like a bithh.”

“Quit talking, you’re just going to irritate your tongue more.” 

“I can’t wait to thuck thome dick.”

_ snap snap _

Eddie snapped the rubber band twice, inhaling deeply. “Richie, that’s not something I ever needed to hear from you.”

“Why? Can’t thtand to think of my thexthy thelf thucking dick?”

“Stop using so many S words, you sound like a dumbass,” Eddie said, tips of his ears going pink. “Actually, just shut up and drive.”

“Ugh, fine. You know yur jutht jealouth,” Richie leaned over and snatched the rubber band off of Eddie’s wrist, throwing it out the window before speeding off. “And thop with the fucking rubber bandth.”

“Fuck off, that was mine!”

“And now it’th not.”

“I hate you”

“No you don’t, you thaid it yurthelf,” Richie lisped smugly. “That wath tho fun holy thit”

“It was definitely more fun than sitting and pretending to like Greta and her friends,” Eddie agreed. “I’d maybe be okay with doing it again sometime.”

Beaming, Richie laughed and turned up the music. Eddie decided that maybe music made the scenery look better. Or maybe, Richie was what made it better. As Richie taught him the lyrics to the new music, he thought that maybe he really wasn’t that bad. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will I ever give you guys a chapter where at least one of them doesn't cry? Unlikely, but possible. Not today though LOL
> 
> Also, an anon mentioned the fact that I haven't addressed Eddie's feelings toward Richie's ditching him for six years in the comments of the last chapter! I'd like to reassure you that it will NOT be glossed over and it will be talked about later on. This chapter is not the only time I'll have them talk about that because it does deserve to be addressed. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for the kind words, it's helped my motivation like y'all don't even know. So yeah, thank you!
> 
> By the way, don't google Prince Albert. I'll soothe your curiosity. It's a dick piercing.


	8. O God, We Grieve Thy Hatred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Eddie, what are those for?” Richie asked for what seemed like the thousandth time, gesturing at the rubber band around his wrist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song inspo is Dandelions by Ruth B

_ snap _

“Eddie, what are those for?” Richie asked for what seemed like the thousandth time. 

The snapping had gotten increasingly worse lately, and it was starting to worry him. Especially after he’d gotten his tongue pierced, though he wasn’t sure why. It’d been over a month and the snapping had gotten so bad that he was seemingly constantly stealing and throwing away the rubber bands. Mother Nature was probably going to get him back for it, but he had to keep his best friend safe.

“They’re-” Pausing, Eddie looked at him for a good long while, contemplating before finally giving in. “They’re for when I think of shit I shouldn’t.”

“So, it’s to chase the gay thoughts away?”

“Yeah, basically.”

“That’s kinda fucked up, man,” He said, leaning over and snatching the rubber band off of his wrist. “Isn’t it considered self harm?” 

“Not...really? I don’t think it is, I’m not  _ hurting  _ myself.”

“Dude, this has blood on it! How fucking hard are you snapping it?!” 

“Uh…”

“Why the hell is there a rock on it? Are you  _ trying  _ to draw blood? What the fuck, Eddie!”

“I-I’m sorry, I just-”

“Get in the fucking bathroom now, I’m going to fix this shit.” Richie made sure to grab him by the wrist that wasn’t bleeding, staining Eddie’s white shirt. “Take off your shirt while you’re at it.”

To his surprise, Eddie did it with no complaint or hesitation. He threw it in the tub, silently sitting down on the edge of it and holding his arm out.

This time, it was his turn to hold Eddie’s hand when he used the antiseptic spray, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. When the tears came, he resisted the urge to kiss them away, instead wiping them away carefully as could be. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry it hurts,” He whispered, dabbing at the wounds with hydrogen peroxide and wincing at the stinging white bubbles. Eddie couldn’t have at least chosen a  _ clean  _ rock?

“N-no, it’s my own- ah!” Eddie winced, hissing in a breath through his teeth. “My own fault.”

“And what the  _ fuck _ are these?” Richie asked, voice reaching registers he didn’t know it could.

To put it lightly, Eddie’s torso looked like someone had taken a meat tenderizer to it. There was a shoeprint shaped bruise right over his stomach. He knew who had done this.

“Nothing, it’s fine.”

“You look like you got put through a fucking meat grinder, Eds. Who did this?”

“Nobody.”

“It was Hockstetter, wasn’t it? Him and Bowers, right?”

“No, Bowers moved,” Eddie mumbled, avoiding his gaze. 

“I’ll kill him,” Richie growled. “I’ll fucking kill him.”

The scary thing was that in that moment, he really meant that. He really and truly was ready to kill Patrick Hockstetter, just for this. The sight of Eddie sitting on the edge of the tub, wrist bloody and chest bruised to hell made his heart hurt and his chest burn with fury. Angry tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, and he tried his hardest to will them away.

“Oh, Rich…” Eddie said softly, reaching out to cup his face. Of course he’d seen the tears, it was Eddie. Too perceptive with 20/20 vision, that had always been him. 

“I can’t believe you’re trying to comfort  _ me _ right now.”

“You’re the one crying.”

“No, you are!”

“Fine,” Eddie snapped, wiping tears from his eyes. “Both of us are crying. Now can you bandage my wrist so we can go focus on something else?”

“No, because we’re not going to go focus on something else. We’re going to talk about how you’re fucking destroying your wrist for some reason.”

“I don’t want to.”

“And I don’t care. Get your ass on the bed while I soak your fucking shirt,” Richie snapped, carefully bandaging Eddie’s wrist. 

“It’s white, the blood’s not gonna come out,” Eddie said sadly. Richie knew how much he liked this shirt. 

“Yeah it will, we just gotta soak it in warm water,” Richie said, grabbing it and tossing it in the sink, turning the hot tap on. “What are you still doing here? Go take a nap or some shit, I’ll be right out.”

“Okay,” Eddie replied. On his way out, he stopped to wrap Richie in a warm hug. “Thanks, Rich.”

“Anything for you.”

The scary thing was that he meant it. He would do literally anything for Eddie, no matter how impossible it seemed. If he asked, Richie would lasso the moon and stars, drag them right down to earth for him, just for him. 

Alone in the room, Richie had some time to think. What the hell was wrong with Eddie? The rubber bands had never been an issue, at least, he’d never seen him wear them before the two of them started talking. Then again, he’d always tried not to pay too much attention to Eddie. He hadn’t wanted to fuck anything up again, not again.

Then what the hell were they for? Richie wasn’t sure, but he knew that he was about to find out, whether Eddie liked it or not. There was no getting out of it this time. Leaving the shirt in the full sink, Richie headed back into the bedroom.

“Are you fucking serious?” Richie asked, face to face with Eddie holding a rubber band ball. He was already tying a rock to another band. “You’re kidding me, right? I’m not actually seeing this,  _ right?” _

“I-I’m- Uh, I’m,” Eddie stuttered, frozen in place. 

Crossing the room in just three long steps, Richie snatched the ball and the rubber band from him, ignoring his protests. With an enraged yell, he threw the ball out the open window, watching it bounce off his car and into a rain gutter. Turning back to Eddie, he held up the rubber band accusingly. 

“Tell me right now, what the fuck are these for. That’s not a question, Eddie.”

“I-it’s for when I think of,” Eddie stopped, swallowing a sob. “Bad thoughts. It’s for the bad thoughts, Richie.”

“No! They’re not fucking bad, they’re fine!” Richie yelled. Thank fuck Sonia was at work. “You’re normal, and so is everything you’re thinking.”

“No,” Eddie cried out, reaching for the rubber band. “Give it back, I need that.”

“You fucking don’t. You don’t need to hurt yourself, I don’t care what they told you.”

Eddie was sobbing now, and he didn’t know what to do. He was crying so hard, harder than Richie had ever seen anyone cry. Harder than his mom at his dad’s funeral. Over a fucking rubber band. He was trying so hard to understand, but he just  _ couldn’t _ . 

Out of nowhere, Eddie got up and ran, making a beeline to the bathroom. In the next room over, Richie could hear retching, and he was pretty sure he’d never run that quickly in his life.

“Eds,” Richie dropped to his knees next to Eddie, who was crying and hunched over the toilet, emptying the contents of his stomach into it. Grabbing a towel, he dabbed at Eddie’s mouth and rubbed his back, hoping to God that this would be over soon.

“Help me,” Eddie begged, latching onto Richie’s shirt and burying his face into his chest. “Make it go away.”

“Make what go away?”

“I don’t want to remember, I want to forget, I want to forget the fucking therapy,” Eddie screamed. “I’m so tired, I want to forget.”

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry.”

They sat curled up on the bathroom floor, Eddie screaming and crying into his shirt, Richie just holding him and listening. Tears slipped down his own cheeks, the sight of Eddie like this was just too fucking much for him.

In that moment, Richie really and truly hated Sonia Kaspbrak. How fucking dare she ruin her own damn child like this? How dare she do this to a kid, one that had never done a single damn thing to anyone. If she died, right at that moment, the only thing that would make him sad about it was the fact that he wasn’t the one to end her miserable fucking existence. 

It took Eddie a solid hour to fully stop, to get all of the sorrow and fury out of that tiny body of his. “You okay, Eds?” Eddie simply shook his head no, choosing to stay quiet instead. “Okay, let’s move back to the bed.”

That was one of the only times Eddie had ever allowed Richie to carefully, carefully pick him up and carry him to bed, to lay him down and crawl in next to him. 

“Why did you never come back for me?” Eddie’s voice was a broken and sad little thing that made his heart shatter.

“What?”

“I waited for you, y’know?” Shifting to look at him, Eddie stared him straight in the eye. “Every night, I waited for you to show up and tell me everything was going to be okay. When I started going to the conversion therapy, when my mom pulled me out of school, all of it. I waited for the night you’d crawl in through my window and tell me that all of it would be alright.”

“My mom, she started monitoring when I left the house. She’d check my room at night and make me leave the door open,” Richie began. “But...I was also scared. I was too much of a coward. I was and still kind of am scared of your mom, and I thought you hated me.”

“I wanted to. I thought I did, for a while. I’d look over to see you at church sometimes and just think about how much I needed you. I was so scared and you weren’t there,” Eddie said, accusatory and bitter. “I never stopped missing you, you know that?”

“I never stopped missing you either. I tried to forget about you, and sometimes it would work. But then I’d see you again and I couldn’t get you out of my head,” Richie leaned forward to press their foreheads together. “I should have come back for you.”

“I left my window open a little every night, just in case. Always.”

“I’m so sorry, Eddie. If I could do it over again, I would.”

“I know,” A small smile graced his lips. “And I forgive you. I forgave you a while ago.”

“When?”

“The moment you said you might get a fucking dick piercing.”

They laughed, then fell back into a somber silence. They were both avoiding the main subject, the elephant in the room. Richie just didn’t want to make Eddie cry again. He fucking hated having to see Eddie cry, and he especially hated being the reason behind it. 

“Eddie?”

“Hm?”

“Why?” 

It was a very simple, very quiet question that meant so much more than what it sounded like. So many questions in one tiny word.  _ Why do you snap the bands? Why do you hurt yourself? What is it for? Who’s the reason behind those thoughts of yours, Eddie? _

“Because of you.”

Those three little words were enough to make his blood ice over. Richie thought he was going to be sick if he was the reason for all this. “Me?”

“I think I’m gay,” Eddie whispered, like it was something disgusting that needed to be hidden.

“Okay. That’s okay.”

“I think…” Eddie trailed off, tearing up and avoiding his gaze. “I really like you, Richie.”

“I like-  _ Oh. _ ” 

Eddie liked him. 

Holy shit, Eddie  _ liked  _ him. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Eddie said, hysteria rising in his voice. “Please don’t hate me.”

“Whoa, wait wait wait, hold the fuck up,” Cupping his cheek, Richie smiled and looked Eddie right in the eye. “I really like you too. Like, I  _ really like  _ you. A lot.”

Eddie stared for a second, before losing it entirely. “Are you fucking serious? Are you serious? You’re not fucking joking because I’ll kill you if you’re-”

Kissing Eddie’s forehead softly, Richie held him close, smiling wide as could be. He wasn’t sure how far Eddie was comfortable going yet, so he thought the forehead was a good start. “Yeah, I’m serious.”

It took Richie a second before realizing that Eddie was crying and praying at the same time. “God, thank you, thank you,  _ thank you _ .”

“Amen,” Richie whispered, kissing the top of Eddie’s head. He thanked God for this moment, and every one that came after. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Richie: I'd never hurt Eddie
> 
> Also Richie, finding Eddie self-harming: Time to yell at him when he's upset!!
> 
> I sometimes forget that Richie can be volatile and a feral little gremlin, but then I do scenes like these and remember that wow, he really doesn't stop to think about what he's saying before he sees the results of his words sometimes. He might not mean it but he sometimes does fuck shit up. I personally don't think it's ooc because I feel like he'd yell and immediately backtrack once he processes the reaction Eddie's having, but I could be wrong. 
> 
> I hate rubber bands after writing this fic, not even gonna lie. They're the devil.
> 
> Also, it's my birthday today, so I'll be posting twice! Mainly because of that, but also because I need to give y'all a break from the angst. Next chapter is happy, pinky promise!


	9. Rebel Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Fucking drive,” Eddie wheezed, throwing the door shut and buckling in. “Fucking go, Richie.”
> 
> And really, who was he to say no? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song inspo is 18 by Anarbor (seriously, listen to it, it's great)

“Fucking drive,” Eddie wheezed, throwing the door shut and buckling in. “Fucking  _ go,  _ Richie.”

And really, who was he to say no? 

“Stay down and I’ll get us out of here.”

Slowly, slowly, he pulled away from the curb and away from the house with the mailbox reading “Kaspbrak”. Once they were far enough, he flicked his lights on and patted Eddie on the back in a silent  _ “get up”.  _ Slowly sliding up, he peeked out the window, worry and fear all over his face. “Are we good?”

“Yep. Already out of the neighborhood and on our way to nowhere,” Richie offered up a small smile to his...friend? Is that what they were? It felt like they’d gone from hatred to something different in such a short amount of time. “Where do you wanna go, Eds?”

The fear Eddie wore morphed into something completely different, something like wonder, happiness, maybe even hope. Hope that he could be normal for a night. Like Cinderella, but for a pastor’s kid. 

“Can I get a tattoo? Like, now?”

“Dude, it’s like midnight. You expect me to find a tattoo parlor that’s open right now? Because that’s not going to happen.”

“Oh,” The wave of disappointment that washed over him and splashed over onto Richie was overwhelming, to the point where he actually felt bad for not being able to do this one thing for him. 

“I can take you tomorrow, instead of going to the youth group?”

“You mean, skip the youth service? Do you know how much fucking trouble I’d get in?” Eddie asked, voice reaching high registers neither of them knew he had. 

“Uh, a lot?”

“Exactly,” Huffing, Eddie crossed his arms and looked out the window. “You’re going to hold my hand while I get the tattoo, right?”

“Wait, you want to go?” He didn’t get a response, just a grin the size of Texas and a giggle that sounded nothing like the usual Eddie. It drew a laugh from deep within him, a happy and light thing that hadn’t surfaced in ages. “No shit I’ll hold your hand, dumbass.”

“Good,” Closing his eyes, Eddie sighed in contentment. Richie had never seen anyone this happy just to get out of the house, “Ooh, can we open the sunroof?

“I thought you didn’t like it?

“Well, my mom’s never let me do that before,” Eddie said, like it was the most normal thing in the world. “She doesn’t like the car windows down either.”

“Your mom...has never let you roll the car window down?” He asked, shocked and actually really pissed off. Seventeen years and Eddie had never had the car window down? Fucking ridiculous. 

“Nah, she says it lets germs in. Can I?”

Instead of answering, Richie rolled his own window down and opened the sunroof, reveling in the look of pure awe and excitement on Eddie’s pretty little face. Rolling his window down, Eddie did the only logical thing and immediately stuck his face out into the cool night air. The wind carried a musical laugh back into the car, just for Richie to hear, just for his heart to skip a few beats and speed up. Ripping off his seatbelt, Eddie popped up out of the sunroof and whooped into the silent night, laughing like a dumbass.

“Eddie Spaghetti, where do you want to go!” Richie yelled out the window at a stoplight. He vaguely knew where they were, but he was too happy and too far in his own little world with Eddie to really care. 

“Oh my God Rich, this is amazing,” A very exhilarated Eddie dropped back down into the car, hair sticking up everywhere and a grin permanently glued to his face. “Let’s go to Wendy’s, I want a frosty and fries!”

“Let me guess, your mom-”

“Doesn’t let me have those, yeah.”

“Wendy’s it is!” 

They spent their drive there laughing, with Richie teaching Eddie lyrics to songs he’d never been allowed to hear, much less learn. Playing their music loud and happy, they didn’t have a care in the world. Going in through the drive thru was tricky, as they had to hide Eddie in case someone they knew was there. 

“A large chocolate frosty and large fries, please!”

“That’ll be four seventy three at the window.”

“I’ve got that, Richie,” Eddie whispered up to him, rummaging through his pockets. 

“No the fuck you don’t, I do. If you argue, I’ll give you away to the cashier.”

“Fuck you!”

They managed to get out with their frosty and their fries, one piping hot and the other freezing cold.

“So, where are we going to stop to eat this?”

“How’s the church sound?”

“Hilarious,” Eddie deadpanned, getting him a laugh from Richie. His sense of humor was very simple, and one of the things that set him off were pretty boys giving him a bitchface. 

“We’re going to have a picnic in the park and look at the stars,” He cursed the rules of driving, because he just knew that Eddie was giving him a Look right now, but he wasn’t able to see it for fear of crashing and killing them both. “How’s  _ that _ sound?”

“That sounds perfect.”

There was something about Eddie’s voice right then that made Richie want to cry a little bit. No way should any seventeen year old sound that thankful for something this simple. It was a fucking ice cream and fries in the park, not something huge. He was suddenly furious at Sonia Kaspbrak for doing this to her own fucking son. How dare she do this? Deprive him of the tiny pleasures in life such as these, like just spending time with his friends. Hell, sometimes he wasn’t even sure he counted as a friend, and he wasn’t sure if that made it worse, but it sort of felt like it did. Sometimes he wondered how he could count as anything after he’d left Eddie.

It was a quiet and content ride to the park, one where Eddie stuck his head out the window and yelled when a bug flew into his mouth. He claimed he was going to die, but unsurprisingly, he was still alive when they pulled into the dark parking lot. 

“Jesus, what happened to the fucking lights?”

“They’re all burnt out, the city just doesn’t really give a shit,” Rolling the windows up, he turned off the car and got out, running around to Eddie’s side so he could get the door for him. “Makes for good stargazing, though.”

“You come here a lot?” Eddie inquired, gladly taking Richie’s hand to get out of the car. He couldn’t help but notice how soft and warm Eddie’s hand was. Richie thought he might want to hold it. 

“I’ll come by more often if it means I get to hear shitty pickup lines like that more often,” Waggling his brows, he popped the trunk and yanked out two blankets: a very fuzzy one, and a ratty one for them to sit on. 

“Shut up, that’s not what I meant and you know it!” Pulling out the fries and frosty, Eddie slammed the car door shut and waited for Richie, pouting. Well, he probably didn’t know he was pouting, but he was.

“I come by here once in a while, when it’s really nice out,” Finally answering Eddie’s question, he took the frosty from his hands. Richie’s hands were already cold, no need for Eddie’s warm ones to freeze over. “Or when I’m with a cute guy.”

“Oh,” Eddie said, the picture of eloquence. “What about right now?”

“I’m here to eat fries with a friend.”

Richie half expected him to laugh, say  _ “You? A friend? Fucking hilarious, asswipe”, _ but none of those came. Instead, he got a warm smile that reached Eddie’s eyes.

“What a coincidence, so am I.”

They set up shop somewhere in the middle of the park, right in front of the swingset. You could see the sky perfectly, and on a cloudless night like this, that’s exactly what Richie wanted. 

“I’m gonna warn you right now, I have no idea what the constellations are,” Leaning back on his elbows, he yanked Eddie down with him, laughing at the shriek he let out. “I could always pretend to know them, if you like smart guys.”

“I don’t care. Gimme the fries,” Eddie made grabby hands, reaching for the bag of french fries. 

“Ah-ah, you gotta dip them.”

“In what? The fucking frosty?” Richie nodded. “That’s fucking disgusting!”

“Is not! It’s delicious and if you don’t try it, I’ll-”

“Quit it with the damn ‘if you don’t’ bullshit, I’ll do it. Give me the fries.”

Popping the lid of the frosty off and handing Eddie the perfect fry, he simply sat and waited for Eddie to try it. Hesitantly, he dipped the fry into the ice cream and brought it to his pretty lips. Popping the fry into his mouth, he chewed, eyes going wide.

“Oh my God.”

“I told you!”

“It’s so good. Give me the fucking fries, Richie.”

So they sat, battling over the french fries and dipping them in the frosty until the fries were gone and the frosty was a melted mess. 

“Give it here, I’ll drink it if you don’t want it.”

“Wanna share?”

Taking a huge swig of it, Richie handed it over to Eddie. “Oh shit, sorry. It’s dripping a little right…”

Wordlessly, Eddie made a point to turn the cup to where Richie had taken a sip, making eye contact as he licked the place Richie’s lips had been not five seconds ago. Making a happy noise, Eddie finished it off in one go. 

Richie’s mouth had gone completely dry, mind going back to Eddie’s pink tongue peeking out from those lips to lick the lip of the cup, and would that be considered an indirect french kiss? Did Eddie just technically french kiss him? 

“..chie. Richie!”

“Huh?”

“Dude, it’s like three. We should go,” Not once in his life had Richie heard anyone sound so sad over having to go home. But he also sounded exhausted, kinda like he was going to fall asleep right here in the park. 

“We didn’t get to go on the swings,” Richie really did sound like a disappointed child right now.

“Next time, but my mom’s gonna be up in like two hours and I need to be there in case she gets up earlier.”

_ Next time _

Richie’s heart  _ soared. _ There was going to be a next time. He had a friend, and his name was Eddie Kaspbrak. He was kind of in love with his friend, but still. 

“Alright, next time.”

The drive back home was quiet, the only noise they could hear was the wind in their hair because Richie couldn’t help but to let Eddie open the windows again. How could he tell him no? 

His least favorite part of the drive was watching Eddie slowly wilt as they got closer and closer to his neighborhood. He went from the happy, bright person he’d been not five minutes ago to a closed off shell of that person. No wonder he always seemed so miserable, he actually  _ was _ that miserable. 

“You’re sure you’ll be okay?”

“My window’s still open, don’t worry.”

“If you have any problems, just text me and I’ll be here, got it?”

“Got it, Richie,” Eddie smiled a funny little smile that said something he couldn’t quite decipher. He should take a class on how to speak Eddie. Eddie slowly, slowly leaned in, and for a second, Richie thought he might be getting kissed. He felt lips on his cheek, just the lightest brush of them, and then the warmth of Eddie’s body almost on him, right there, was gone. “Thank you for tonight.”

“Y-yeah,” Richie said, eloquent as ever. “You too.”

That was how he ended up alone again in his car, watching Eddie fucking Kaspbrak climb back into his room, waving goodnight to him before disappearing entirely. Bringing his hand to his burning cheek, Richie sat back in his seat with a thump.

“That’s it,” He whispered to himself. “This kid is going to fucking kill me.”

Pulling away from the curb, he felt Eddie’s absence like a missing limb already. He left the windows down all the way back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter where neither of them cry? Fucking incredible! 
> 
> I've officially finished writing the fic itself and am now just editing and putting the finishing touches on the last few chapters, so I'll be updating every day until it's over! I'm so sad, I'm going to miss the hell out of these two. I'm considering turning this into its own little universe and posting occasional ficlets and timestamps, because I literally have no idea what I'm going to do when this ends. It's like when you finish watching a TV show, except worse! What do you guys think? 
> 
> Again, thank you all so much for the kind words and the support, it's helped IMMENSELY as I've been writing this thing. Thank you so much.


	10. Your Body Is a Temple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re sure you want to do this?”
> 
> “Hell yes I am, and if you ask me one more time I’m going to fucking throttle you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song inspo is Two Birds by Regina Spektor

“You’re sure you want to do this?”

“Hell yes I am, and if you ask me one more time I’m going to fucking throttle you.”

It was thursday, and they were prepping. A promise was a promise, and Eddie had been promised a tattoo. Sitting in the car, they bickered over whether or not he was _really_ ready to get one.

“It’s pretty permanent though, so are you-”

“Richie if you say ‘sure’ I’m going to shove a tattoo gun down your throat. I am not fucking kidding.”

“Alright, alright,” He said, raising his hands in surrender. “Have you talked to Pastor Brandon yet?”

“Not yet,” Eddie said nervously. “I’ve never skipped before, and I don’t know if he’s going to tell my mom or not.”

“He hasn’t said anything about missing the small groups, has he?”

“Yeah, but small groups don’t require worship teams,” Gnawing on his lip, Eddie pulled out his phone and dialed the number, putting it on speaker and placing the phone on the dashboard. 

_“Hello?”_

“Hey P.B, it’s Eddie!” He said, voice high and way too excited. Eddie was a terrible liar. “I need to ask you for a huge favor.”

_“Sounds rad, what’s up?”_

“Can you cover for me tonight? Something important came up and I really can’t go today.”

_“Going on a hot date with Richie?”_

Both he and Eddie froze. “Uh, I’m not sure what you mean, sir.”

_“I’m not your mom, kiddo. Some of the things she believes in are real different from the ones I do.”_

“Wh- Really?”

_“‘Course I do. I might not be the brightest bulb in the shed, but I know the way you two look at each other. It’s the way I look at my wife now, and the way I used to look at my boyfriend.”_

“...Your what?”

_“You heard me,”_ Both of them were dumbstruck, jaw dropping at the mere idea of the _pastor_ being bisexual. _“It’s okay to love him. I won’t tell your mom, kiddo. Go live it up with your boy.”_

“Th-thank you, Brandon,” Eddie stuttered out, his inner Bill coming out to play. 

_“Anytime, Eddie. Tell your boy I said hi.”_

“Hey, P.B,” Richie called out, using his nickname for the first time. 

_“Hey! Richie! I love you, man! Eddie, pass the phone to him, I’ve gotta talk to this epic kid for a hot minute.”_

Eddie tentatively took the phone off speaker and handed it over to Richie, shooting him a nervous look. Gulping, Richie took it from his hand and held it up to his ear. “Hello sir.”

_“Oh heck no, none of that. My name’s Brandon, kiddo.”_

“Okay. Hello Brandon.”

_“Richie, I just wanted to thank you.”_

“For what?”

_“For helping Eddie. The kid is all messed up because of…”_ Brandon paused before he spoke again, and Richie could almost see the man looking around to make sure the coast was clear. _“Because of Sonia.”_ He could practically hear her saying _“Please, call me Sonia!”_ in her sugary sweet voice. It made him want to hit something, preferably her. _“He’s different around you. The kid really loves you, and it’s super obvious.”_

There was no trace of the pastor’s usual outdated lingo when he spoke seriously, Richie noted. Maybe he’d misjudged the man, maybe he wasn’t actually an idiot. He knew far more than Richie thought he would, and was a whole lot more observant than he ever considered him to be. Brandon really was suited to be the youth pastor, as he really did seem to see everything around him and not judge it as harshly as Sonia would. For a moment, Richie found himself wishing this would be the pastor of the main sanctuary. That this would be the person teaching even the adults about love and acceptance. 

“That’s uh, a strong word.”

_“It is, but it’s one that’s true and you and I both know that, right?”_

“I do,” Richie almost whispered. He would have a lot to think about after this call, he really would. “I know that more than you fu- freaking know.”

_“I don’t mind if you curse. I’m not gonna lynch you for it!”_

Huffing out a laugh, Richie smiled. “Thanks, Brandon.”

_“Have a good time with your boy, Richie.”_

“Thank you for covering our asses,” Richie snorted when Eddie’s eyes went comically wide at hearing him curse in front of the pastor. “It really means a lot to us both.”

_“Anytime, dude! Anything for you kids. Stay in love and good luck to you,”_ Brandon hung up before he could say anything in response, leaving Richie more than a little bit stunned. 

“Did you just say ass in front of the _pastor?!”_ Eddie shrieked. 

“He said it was fine!”

“What else did he say?” 

“Nothing,” Richie said shortly. He wasn’t about to repeat any of that to Eddie. 

“Hey, what’d he say!”

“Nope. He didn’t say jack shit.”

“That is so unfair, I let you listen to _my_ conversation,” Gesturing wildly, Eddie went on with his little tirade as Richie started the car and began to go on their merry way. “This is totally a dick move, you’re the absolute worst, you know that?”

“Letting me listen in was _your_ choice, not mine.”

“You are such an asshole, Richie.”

“No, that would be you.”

“Big talk from a guy whose name is literally Dick.”

“Hey!” Lightly punching Eddie in the arm, Richie couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re so mean to me.”

“You know it’s all out of love,” Freezing, Eddie scrambled to correct himself. “Out of the great emotional feelings I have for you, I mean!”

_The kid really loves you, and it’s super obvious._

It was, wasn’t it? It was obvious in the way he looked at Richie, in the way he spoke to him. He was mean and argumentative, but it was all in good fun, it was all out of affection. It was out of love. The way he walked around him, the way he held himself were all so comfortable, and the way he smiled just yelled _I’m in love with you, you idiot._

He’d think about it later.

“I know what you meant, Eds.”

“Well thank fuck for that,” Eddie sighed, his shoulders relaxing.

They drove in comfortable silence, punching each other in the arm every time they saw an out of state plate, which was fairly often. Everyone went through Derry, but nobody seemed to want to stay for more than the drive through it. Richie didn’t have to wonder why, it was unsurprising. It wasn’t that Derry wasn’t nice, it was simply that this place was fucking weird. It felt as if once you came to Derry, you could never really leave. It freaked him out more than a little. 

“You never told me what you’re planning on getting for the tattoo!”

“I didn’t?” Richie shook his head no. “Well, I want a bird on my ankle.”

“That sounds cute, how come?”

“It’s because…” Eddie trailed off, looking out the window. “I want to leave here. I want to fly away, away from the church, my mom, away from fucking Derry. I just want to fly away.”

“Where?”

“I want to go home.”

“Where’s home?”

It was quiet for a moment, the question hanging in the air between them.

“Home is with you, Rich. I want to be with you.”

His heart filled to bursting. In that moment, he realized that Brandon was right. Eddie did love him, and he loved him right back. He loved Eddie more than he’d ever loved anyone before, and he always had. That day in July, he’d been lying to himself if he thought it was the first time he’d ever looked at Eddie. How could that be, if he’d been looking this whole time?

“Then let’s do it. One day, let’s go home together.”

“One day,” Eddie smiled, closing his eyes as if imagining it. “One day we’ll do it.”

As they got closer to the tattoo shop, Eddie got more and more nervous. Jiggling his leg, he picked at his lip or gnawed on his cuticle no matter how many times Richie batted his hand away from his mouth. 

“You’ll hold my hand, right?”

“You held mine when I got my piercing, didn’t you?”

“I’m kinda scared now. Maybe you’re right and I’m not ready.”

“Hey, no. You’re braver than you think you are, and I know you can do this.”

Eddie nearly broke Richie’s hand before the actual needle touched his skin, though his grip loosened once he realized it wasn’t nearly as bad as he’d originally thought it would be. Richie thanked any God that may or may not exist that the artist had pretended that Eddie and his baby face truly were eighteen years old, because the look of pure euphoria on Eddie’s face when he saw the little bird on his ankle was priceless. 

Pulling the man aside, Richie whispered in his ear, a quick request that wouldn’t take more than a second. “Hey Eds, come hold my hand, I’m gonna get one real quick too.”

“What? What are you going to get?”

“A nest.”

“What the fuck for?”

“So your bird always has a home to come back to,” Richie grinned, grabbing Eddie’s hand. “Duh.”

Eddie beamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I say a bird, I mean a teeny little cartoon bird. Like the one in the Two Birds music video?   
> Like that. A cute little bird right on his ankle. 
> 
> I'm starting on a new fic now that I'm done with this baby! I'm super sad and dragging my feet on writing it because I already miss these two idiots, but I'm getting there. It'll be a soulmates au, which is probably my personal favorite au. Wish me luck on it!
> 
> If y'all ever have any questions, comments, concerns, or just want to talk, genuinely just hit me up on instagram @archangelica_angelica or on tumblr at eddiesdeaddie, I'd love to get in contact with y'all! You're all so fantastic and your support means the world to me.
> 
> Also, chapter count changed, sorry about that. I failed math three times and I'm a disaster bi, I can't count for shit. Also, my good friend [teamfreedogs](https://teamfreedogs.tumblr.com) on tumblr made some fanart that I am LIVING FOR, just look at these babies!! Go follow her, dammit!  
> 


	11. For The Bread And For The Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’ll never guess what I got for us,” Richie climbed in the window, bottle of wine gripped tightly in his hand. 
> 
> “Rosé? What are we, wine moms?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song inspo is Neon Crimson by The Paper Kites, 400 Lux by Lorde, and Heart by Sleeping At Last

“You’ll never guess what I got for us,” Richie climbed in the window, bottle of wine gripped tightly in his hand. 

“Ros é? What are we, wine moms?”

“No you ass, it’s sake with plum wine and it’s really good. Plus, I bet you’ve never even had alcohol before,” Eddie’s annoyed little huff and the silence that followed was a pretty clear answer for Richie. “Thought so. Is your mom asleep yet?”

“Yeah, she’s been out for like an hour.”

Richie’s visits had gone from bi-weekly, to weekly, to every other night, and now nearly every night. He wouldn’t be surprised if he just straight up moved in at some point. All he knew was that he slept better when he was next to Eddie, and Eddie had told him that he felt the same way. 

“Good, because you’re about to have your first drink,” Uncapping the bottle, Richie offered it to Eddie. “Unless you’re too chicken.”

Eyes flashing, Eddie snatched the bottle out of his hands and took a huge swig. Scrunching his nose up, Eddie coughed once before taking a smaller sip to actually taste it this time around. 

“It’s not terrible.”

“Well, I think it’s good. Gimme,” Richie said, making grabby hands. 

They made their way through the bottle quickly, and Richie enjoyed every second of it. Exchanging indirect kisses, they finished off the wine and were left with rosy cheeks and childish giggles. Getting up, Eddie stumbled over to the bed and flopped down, sighing contentedly. Richie followed soon after, settling in next to him and enjoying the warm press of their bodies up against each other. 

“Hey,” Richie whispered. 

“Hey yourself, handsome,” Eddie giggled, kissing him on the tip of his nose. “What’s up?”

Ruffling his hair, Richie grinned at the carefree smile that spread across his boyfriend’s face. “I like it when you keep your hair like this.”

“Like what?” Eddie asked, crawling halfway onto him. Laying his head on Richie’s chest, he sighed in contentment.

“Curly. It’s cute.”

“I like it too, but my mom doesn’t. She says it’s messy, so she makes me gel it back,” He said sadly.

“That’s super fucking dumb. I love your hair just like this.”

“Really?” Eddie looked genuinely surprised, and fury lanced through him. Richie couldn’t bear to know that Eddie had spent so long being told something he had no power over was ugly, especially something as simple as his hair. 

“Duh. It’s adorable.”

“Thanks, Rich,” Eddie slurred, settling back in on Richie’s chest. 

For some reason, he just couldn’t seem to sleep. Usually alcohol relaxed him, made him mellow and a comfortable kind of sleepy, but with Eddie right there with him he couldn’t help but want to stay awake. He wanted to keep this moment in his mind forever, after all, he wasn’t sure how long he’d be allowed to keep this. 

“For the love of fuck, hold  _ still,”  _ Eddie grumbled.

“But I’m bored!”

“Doesn’t mean you have to jiggle your leg like a crackhead while I’m trying to sleep!”

“Then stop using my chest as a pillow,” Richie said, ruffling Eddie’s hair and laughing at the indignant squawk he let out. 

“But you’re comfy,” Eddie whined. “Whatever, I’m not even tired anymore.”

Richie felt like he’d lost a limb the moment Eddie sat up, his chest feeling a lot lighter and colder than it had not five seconds beforehand. “Fine, then what do you want to do now?”

“Lemme think…” Eddie said, trailing off. An idea seemed to dawn on him before his eyes went sheepish. “Promise not to laugh?”

“Cross my heart, hope to die!”

“Take that back! I don’t want you to die, dumbass!”

“Okay, okay,” Richie laughed, poking Eddie in the ribs. “Pinky swear.”

Holding out his pinky, Eddie shot him a dopey smile as they linked fingers. “Can I paint your nails?”

“Hell yeah you can, it’ll make my hands look all pretty!”

Eddie hopped up and nearly toppled over, seemingly having forgotten that he’d downed about half a bottle of wine. Running off, he rummaged around in the depths of his closet. Richie heard a crack, and looked over to find Eddie prying off the moulding from the back of the closet and reaching into the hole behind it. He grabbed a small bottle, pushed the moulding up against the wall before kangaroo kicking it back in place, and came back looking triumphant with the nail polish in hand. 

“That’s such a pretty color!”

“I bought it a little while ago because it reminds me of your eyes” Eddie said shyly. “It’s beautiful, but your eyes are even prettier.”

Richie felt himself full body blush, unable to stop it. God, he was so fucking in love with this kid that it was ridiculous. “Really?”

“It’s my favorite color.” 

He couldn’t stop his cheeks from going bright red, nor could he stop himself from leaning over and pulling Eddie into a tight hug. Tears pricked at his eyes, embarrassingly enough. “Thanks, Spaghetti man.”

“Don’t call me that,” He pouted, sitting cross legged in front of Richie and taking one of his hands, placing the polish on the nightstand. “Gimme hands.”

Eddie’s hands were warm and soft, and Richie wondered if he couldn’t spend the rest of his life holding them. They were gentle, and didn’t shake in the slightest. They were strong, holding his perpetually shaking hands in place.

“Hold  _ still _ ,” Eddie whined.

“I can’t help it, I’m not used to not having my hands!” Richie exclaimed. “I need my hands!”

“For fucking what? You’re not doing anything!”

“I need them to hold yours,” Richie said, smooth as all hell. 

“Shut the fuck up, stop being cute. It won’t work on me, you know,” Eddie said, blushing and carefully painting his index finger. 

“Y’know, I’m surprised you’re not dead drunk right now,” Ruffling Eddie’s hair with one hand, Richie leaned over and dropped a kiss to the top of his head. “You’ve never had alcohol before, right?”

“Dunno. My dad’s side is basically entirely alcoholics, could have something to do with that,” Grumbling, Eddie pushed Richie back into place and halfheartedly glared at him. “For the love of God, would you stay still?”

“Ooh, you used God’s name in vain!”

“Shut up, I don’t think he’ll mind. I need to stop being such a tightass about that shit.”

“Wait, seriously?” Richie asked, surprised.

“Yeah, I guess it’s not as big a deal as I always made it out to be.”

Richie stayed quiet, but he was proud of him for that. He was slowly breaking free of the strict rules his mother had set for him, slowly becoming his own person. Through all of it, Richie got to be there for it, and it was a beautiful thing. 

“Hey, Eds?”

“Hm?”

“How…” He hesitated. “How long did you have to go to conversion therapy?”

He froze in place, eyes closing and teeth clenching. “Too fucking long, Rich.” It was silent, something awful and scared. “It’s been on and off for the past six years, basically any time she sees me look at a guy wrong.”

“It’s not wrong.”

“Isn’t it, though?” Eddie let out a bitter laugh. “That’s what they’ve been telling me since I was eleven, so isn’t it? I’ve never heard anything but that, not until you.”

“I’m sorry,” Richie whispered, watching Eddie paint another of his nails. “If it weren’t for me…”

“If it weren’t for you, it would have been someone else. My mom would have found out eventually even if you wouldn’t have been there.”

“Wait, then why does she let us be anywhere near each other?”

“Probably because we’re always yelling at each other. That and you’ve been magically healed by God.”

“She remembers that I’m the one who kissed her son, right?” He asked, absentmindedly playing with Eddie’s hair with his free hand.

“I’m not sure, but either she forgot or she doesn’t care.”

Richie let the quiet be itself, letting Eddie finish up his first hand. “You were only eleven, how the fuck did you cope with it all?”

“I didn’t. I would cry a lot, and I started wetting the bed again,” Sighing, he hung his head as if the pressure of the memories were too heavy to even look up. “She’d get so mad at me. Told me I was overreacting to something that was ‘healing me’” Leaning forward, he rested his head on Richie’s chest, setting the nail polish aside. “I missed you so much.”

“I thought you hated me,” Richie admitted. He'd said it before, but he could never shake the feeling that one day, Eddie would turn around and spit fire at him.

“I thought so too. I was so fucking angry at you for leaving me, I hated you for it. I never really processed that you didn’t really have a say in the matter either, not up until recently.”

“I never wanted to leave you, Eds,” He reached up with his free hand to tip Eddie’s face up to look at him, cupping his cheek and resting their foreheads together. “I wish I could redo it and just fix it all sometimes, to make sure none of that shit would have had to happen.”

“How?”

“I would have kissed you another day. I should have kissed you at the quarry.”

“In that fucking disgusting water?” Eddie asked, appalled.

“It’s romantic!”

“Hell no, I liked ours better.” 

“You enjoyed getting caught and sent to conversion therapy during your first kiss?” He asked incredulously.

“No, I enjoyed having my first kiss be you,” Eddie said with a soft and quiet smile. “Dumbass.”

“Oh. Duh,” He responded, eloquent as hell. Grabbing Richie’s other hand, Eddie picked the nail polish back up and got back to painting. “Hey, Eddie?”

“ _ What _ the fuck do you want,” Annoyed at being interrupted once more, Eddie gave him a light smack on the arm. 

“Do you still believe? In God and the Bible and shit.”

“Yeah, I do. I think you can be gay and christian at the same time.”

“Even after all the shit you had to do?” He asked, confused.

“I don’t think God’s the one that did that, He isn’t a cruel God. He loves everyone the same, even the sinners. I don’t think He considers homosexuality a sin, though.”

“But the church says-”

“As the pastor’s kid and someone who grew up basically living in the church,” Eddie cut him off. “I can safely say that God isn’t the cruel one. It’s the people that will destroy you and everything He’s said. They cherry pick and interpret things the way they fucking want, but that’s not what He wanted. So, I believe in God, and I believe in the bible, but I will  _ never _ believe in the people of the church.”

“That...makes a lot of sense, actually,” Eddie smiled and went back to painting his nails.

“I know it does. That’s why I believe in it, dumbass.”

Richie felt warmth bloom in his chest watching Eddie paint his nails. There was a little furrow in his brow, showing just how hard he was concentrating in order to get the polish just right. He was so concentrated, every bit of him focused on Richie and making sure everything was perfect. In that moment, he thought that maybe he was in love with Eddie.

“Hey,” He said softly, catching Eddie’s attention.

“What is it? I’m trying to paint your nails, quit interrupting!” Eddie snapped at him, drawing a laugh from the depths of his soul. 

“I’m in love with you,” Richie sighed, taking in the sight of the boy in front of him. There he sat, the spark of something wonderful in his beautiful eyes, an awestruck smile gracing his lips. He knew right then, he could spend the rest of his life with Eddie without even thinking twice about it. “I really fucking am.”

“Oh, Richie…” Setting the polish aside once more, Eddie crawled into his lap and took Richie’s face into his hands gently, so gently. “I’ve been in love with you since the day we fucking met.”

Their second first kiss was nothing like the one that had come so many years before. It was a soft and gentle press of the lips, their fingers twining in each other’s hair and pulling the other closer, ever closer. They weren’t sure where one stopped and the other began, in that moment they were more together than they ever had been before. 

It was love, the sweet and breathless kisses they exchanged, one after the other. It was a desperate and beautiful thing, trying to make up for every moment they’d lost . Tears rolled down Eddie’s cheeks, this one act showing him who he was. Who he was loved Richie Tozier, no matter what anybody else had ever told him, no matter what anyone else ever would tell him. Happiness burst from Richie’s chest, enveloping them both in a warmth like none they’d felt before. 

“I think I messed up the nail polish,” Richie breathed the moment they broke apart. 

“I can fix it later,” Eddie kissed his forehead and smiled. “Just kiss me again, Rich.”

So he did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I personally am not religious (I'm agnostic), I really and truly do believe you're able to be religious and LGBT+. I said what I said and no, I will not be taking criticisms of any kind.
> 
> I've grown up in a christian family, and though they're far more tolerant than Sonia, I'm still closeted for fear of not being accepted as a member of my family any longer. It's an experience that came into play when I decided to write this fic, and I'm sure it's shown throughout it in some of the things Eddie says and does. 
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to my good friend MJ, who encouraged me to explore the possibility of Eddie continuing to be a believer even after all the things that happened to him. It was interesting and fun to write, and I don't see religious LGBT+ members represented often so it was a nice thing to have a chance to include in the fic. I hope you all thought so too!


	12. With All The Power Of Heart And Tongue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Happy Thanksgiving, Eddie Spaghetti!” Richie yelled, throwing himself at Eddie for a surprise hug. “Time to eat food and pretend the holiday wasn’t built based on mass genocide!”
> 
> “Richie,” Eddie giggled, pushing him away. “There are people staring.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song inspo is Talk by Hozier and BITE by Troye Sivan

“Happy Thanksgiving, Eddie Spaghetti!” Richie yelled, throwing himself at Eddie for a surprise hug. “Time to eat food and pretend the holiday wasn’t built based on mass genocide!”

“Richie,” Eddie giggled, pushing him away. “There are people staring.”

“Who cares?” Richie whispered. “We’re just  _ really  _ good friends, right?”

“You know,” Pastor Brandon came up to them both, drink in one hand and the other wiping a tear from his eye. “Seeing you two become  _ best bros _ has been one of the most epic things ever.”

“I completely agree, P.B. We really are the best of all friends,” Richie said, trying not to wheeze when Eddie elbowed him in the stomach. The pastor winked and walked away, their secret locked tightly away.

“Eddie-bear, you didn’t tell me Richie was here!” Sonia drawled, stomping across the room to greet him. 

“Sorry mommy, I didn’t know if he was coming or not.” 

“Get your ass upstairs and you might be,” He said under his breath. Eddie made a choked noise and played it off as if he’d just choked on his spit, but Richie knew he’d heard what he said. 

“Can we at least say grace first? Jesus Christ, Richie.”

“What can I say? You look irresistible in that polo shirt,” He smiled, wearing absolutely no trace of flirtation on his expression. “I just can’t help myself, Eddie.”

“Well, start helping yourself or we’ll get caught, dumbass.”

“Alright guys, it’s time to say grace!” Sonia called out.

They all linked hands and prayed, something about being thankful for everything God has given us and remembering that we should be the most thankful about God over anything and everything else. Richie nearly fell asleep, and he would have if not for the smell of all the good food. 

If he was being honest, from the moment they said  _ amen _ to the moment they were actually sitting down to eat, Richie was just thinking about dragging Eddie upstairs and doing whatever made him feel good. Eddie hadn’t been allowed to feel good in the longest time, and goddammit, he was going to be the one to change that, and fast. 

The very second they finished their food, Richie was up and dragging Eddie upstairs to his room as quietly and sneakily as possible. He shushed Eddie as soon as he tried to reclaim him, making sure he knew that it was his turn to stop talking. “I’m going to make you feel so good, Eds.”

Richie was really feeling that Killers song right now,  _ It was only a kiss, how did it end up like this? _ After all, he wasn’t quite sure how he’d ended up in Eddie’s closet on Thanksgiving, one hand clasped over Eddie’s mouth with the other down his pants while the party went on downstairs as quickly as he did. 

“Hey, you okay?” He whispered, mouthing at Eddie’s neck. God, what he wouldn’t do to be able to suck a mark into that smooth skin.

“Mm-hmm,” Eddie breathed shakily, body trembling. He gave Eddie’s cock an experimental stroke and reveled in the broken whimper it earned him. Richie was almost impossibly hard, but it was so difficult to even start to focus on that when he had such a precious boy making such beautiful noises in his ear.

Pawing at the hand over his mouth, Eddie had a death grip on his arm, face flushed a pretty pink. “Richie we can’t, everyone’s right downstairs.”

“Then it looks like you’re gonna have to be really quiet, huh?” Turning Eddie around to face him, Richie kissed him on the tip of his nose and slid down to his knees. “I’m gonna make you feel good.”

“Richie-” Eddie clapped his own hand over his mouth to muffle the choked sound he let out when Richie experimentally licked a stripe up his cock. With a wicked grin, he wrapped his lips around the head, sliding down to the root in one go.

It wasn’t that Richie was an expert at sucking dick, he just really liked bananas. Since he’d started dating Eddie, he’d started eating them even more often than usual. Or rather, he’d been swallowing them a lot more often. Practice makes perfect, right?

“God, Richie, please,” Eddie was whimpering, legs trembling as he swallowed him down. Sucking at the head of his cock, he thanked whatever spiritual entity was up there that he’d decided to get a tongue piercing. Looking up at him, Richie wished that he could get a photo of Eddie at that very moment. 

Red faced and panting, he stared right down at Richie with a look of pure adoration and wonder, making the most desperate little noises. Pulling off of Eddie’s cock, Richie grinned. “You’re gonna have to be quieter or the whole house is gonna hear you.”

“I can’t, it’s too much,” Eddie whined as Richie stroked him slowly. “It feels good.”

“That’s the point,” Going ever slower, he moved his other hand to squeeze Eddie’s ass. “Want me to stop?”

“If you stop, I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Alright then. Put your hand over your mouth, now.”

Eddie did as he was told and put his hand tightly over his mouth, the other reaching down to put his fingers in Richie’s hair. “Mm-hmm.”

“Good boy.”

Richie dove back in, trying to bring Eddie to the edge as quickly as possible. People would be noticing their absence soon, and he didn’t want to get caught with a dick in his mouth. Eddie’s fingers tightened in his hair and he was choking back moans, breathing raggedly through his nose. 

He knew Eddie was close when he started bucking his hips a bit, not enough to make him choke, but enough that he knew he was desperate. Richie hummed around his mouthful, making sure Eddie could feel his piercing pressing into the sensitive head of his cock. He jerked whatever he couldn’t get into his mouth fast, and it was only one, two strokes before Eddie was coming down his throat. Richie had never been a fan of swallowing, but for Eddie, he would do just about anything. 

“You good?” He asked, trying to help Eddie pull his pants back up. Eddie batted his hand away, a silent  _ I can put my own damn pants back on,  _ though his chest was heaving and his hands were shaking.

“Jesus Christ, Richie,” Eddie huffed out. “Thank you for getting that tongue piercing.” Laughing, Richie adjusted himself in his pants. “Shit, you didn’t get off.”

“Another day,” He said. “They’re probably looking for us.”

Eddie smiled, pulling him into a surprising smile. With his aversion to germs, Richie wouldn’t have thought he’d be kissing him with tongue so soon after his dick was in Richie’s mouth, but it wasn’t like he minded. He happily melted into the kiss, loving the connection they had together. 

“I taste terrible, what the fuck?” Eddie said when they pulled apart, screwing up his nose.

“I don’t think so,” Richie laughed, pressing a chaste kiss to Eddie’s lips.

“Well, I do. Remind me to start eating more pineapple.”

“Will do, Eds,” He smiled when Eddie kissed him again, long and sweet. “Hey, I’m thankful for you.

“I’m thankful for you too, dummy,” With a smile, Eddie dragged them back down to the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Thanksgiving chapter? On Christmas Eve? Let's just say I didn't think this one through. 
> 
> This is my first time writing any sort of smut so please for the love of god have mercy on my soul. I've never done it before and decided to try my hand at it, so hopefully it's halfway decent!


	13. Don't Hide It Under A Bushel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh, Richie! You and your mother should come over for dinner tomorrow night!” Sonia exclaimed.

“Oh, Richie! You and your mother should come over for dinner tomorrow night!” Sonia exclaimed.

It was six o’ clock on a Thursday, and all Richie wanted to do was pick Eddie up for youth group that night. He’d made a habit of coming to the door to greet him and walk him to the car. After all, he had his guitar to lug around and Richie was more than happy to open doors for him and help him with anything he needed. 

Rarely was Sonia the one to greet him at the door, usually Eddie was done and ready to go by the time he arrived. He hated the days he had to talk to Sonia because, well, he fucking hated her. Richie hated having to look at her and make nice, knowing full well that she was the reason why Eddie had so many traumas, all of which would take him years and so much actual therapy to get rid of. 

Eddie was behind her, waving at him and shaking his head frantically.  _ No, please say no.  _ That was exactly what he was trying to say, and Richie knew as much. “I think we may be busy tomorrow, Sonia. But thank you so much for the offer!”

“No, I called Maggie and she said you guys were free to come over, so I’ll see you then,” She said sweetly, but there was an edge to her voice and something in her eyes that scared him. 

“Of course! Can’t wait,” He smiled at her and looked over at Eddie. “Hey, we should get going. Don’t want you to be late for worship, what would they do without the star of the show?”

“Love you, Eddie-bear! Have fun, you two.”

He and Eddie had never gotten in the car and driven away faster than they did at that moment. 

“What the  _ fuck  _ was that?” Richie asked, voice high and nervous.

“I have no idea, she got a phone call this morning and has been super weird ever since,” Eddie said, gnawing on his cuticles. “What if she found out?”

“There’s no way. We’ve been too careful for that to happen.”

“Yeah, but what if?” Sighing, Eddie threw his head back and stared out the sunroof. “You should stay home tonight, just in case.”

“I’m gonna sleep like shit without you,” He whined.

“Me too, but I don’t want to go back to…” Eddie trailed off. “I can’t go back. I fucking can’t.”

“You won’t.”

“You can’t promise me that.”

It was true. Richie couldn’t promise jack shit. If they’d been found out, then Eddie was the one that was royally fucked. Sure, his mom might throw him out on his ass, but he had friends to stay with. He was an adult; he’d been saving money since he was a kid and could easily move out, he just didn’t want his mom to live alone in that big house. But Eddie? He was seventeen and his mom had full control over his life. Eddie couldn’t do shit. 

“I can’t, but I can do everything I can to keep her from sending you.”

Eddie shot him a wan smile and closed his eyes, whispering prayers. Richie drove and hoped God heard each and every one of them. 

__________

“Thank you so much for inviting us over tonight, dinner looks lovely,” Maggie said. Richie’s mom was far too polite, for the food looked like it was going to taste something like cardboard. 

Both he and Eddie looked terrible. After a sleepless night, the bags under their eyes only made their anxiety look worse. With a nervous smile, Eddie welcomed him and his mom into the house. “Just make yourself at home, Mrs. Tozier.”

“Please, call me Maggie. I’ve heard so much about you, Eddie!”

“All good things, I hope,” Eddie said, donning his signature pastor’s kid smile.

“Definitely, Richie never shuts up about you.”

“He doesn’t?”

“Of course not, you’re his best friend!” She gushed.

Eddie looked over at him warmly, shooting him a real smile this time. He had no choice but to blush like a moron and smile right back. How nobody had caught them yet was a mystery to him.

“Eddie-bear, why don’t you sit over here next to me?” Sonia said. Looking at her with apprehension, Eddie approached her like one would approach an angry bear. 

“Okay mommy.”

In all honesty, if he was seventeen and still had to call his mother ‘mommy’, Richie would have thrown himself off a cliff at this point. He wasn’t sure how Eddie put up with it, but he supposed it was better than the conversion therapy. 

“Before we start, I just wanted to say a quick prayer for us all,” Sonia said. They all stood, linking hands and bowing their heads with closed eyes. “Dear heavenly Lord, we thank you for this food you have put before us this day. Thank you that we have Richie and Maggie joining us today, and thank you for truthfulness and purity of heart.” Richie and Eddie snuck a peek at each other, exchanging a confused and worried look. What the fuck was she talking about? “In the name of the good Jesus Christ, amen.”

“Amen,” the other three echoed in unison. Sitting down, they all dug in. Richie tried not to make a face, because the food truly did taste like cardboard. He caught his mom doing the same and tamped down an amused smile.

“So, Maggie, how have you been?” Sonia asked, mouth full.

Lip curling in disgust, his mother tried keeping a polite face. She’d never really liked Sonia as a person, though she was her biggest fan as a pastor. She really just spoke and interacted with her because Richie and Eddie were friends. “I’ve been doing good, thank you.”

“Well,” Sonia corrected.

“What?” 

“It’s well. You’ve been doing well.”

With a tight smile, his mom let out a fake laugh. “Then I guess I’ve been doing well!”

The dinner went on in silence, a very awkward one that Richie wished he could escape as soon as possible. He wished Eddie was sitting next to him, at least then they could pretend to be fifteen and play footsie. 

“Maggie, aren’t you proud of your son?” Sonia piped up the moment she finished her food. Looking up, Richie’s heart began to beat a bit faster. What the  _ fuck _ was she talking about?

“Of course I am!” 

“So am I. It’s not every day God saves someone from homosexuality.”

_ no _

Richie’s breath caught in his throat, heart sinking to the floor. He could hear the blood roaring in his ears, everything else in the world silent and horrible. All these years of so carefully guarding this secret, of keeping his mom from hating him, destroyed by this horrible bitch. Eddie stared at her in horror, eyes wide. As for his mom, she’d frozen in place, giving Sonia a strange look. “I’m sorry?”

“Your son didn’t tell you? Oh, I’m not surprised, it’s a disgusting and shameful thing,” Sonia tittered, smug and far too happy. What Richie wouldn’t do to smack that smile off her face. “God healed him of homosexuality, and he’s been happily straight for a while now, isn’t that right Richie?”

Richie just nodded, he couldn’t form words right now even if he tried. 

“Did I ever tell you why our sons stopped talking? Why I had to send my little Eddie-bear to therapy?”

“Is there a point to this, ma?” Eddie’s voice was shaking and nervous, but angry. “Can we just finish eating?”

Ignoring him, Sonia continued. “Mrs. Hockstetter was out very late the other night, and she told me she could have sworn she saw the two of you in Richie’s car, out by the park.”

Richie’s blood iced over, heart stopping completely. He made a choked noise, and his mother put a strangely reassuring hand over his own. 

“Boys will be boys, Sonia. Eddie’s almost an adult, him sneaking out isn’t that big of a deal. Plus, you know these two, they’ve always been troublemakers.”

“Maggie, they stopped talking because I found the two of them kissing behind the church all those years ago.”

“Uh,” His mom’s hand stayed on his. “I’m, uh. I-”

“And Mrs. Hockstetter found them, kissing in the car.”

“M-Mom,” Eddie got out, tears in his eyes.

“Don’t say anything, baby,” Sonia turned to Richie, fire in her eyes. “ _ You. _ You tainted my Eddie. I should have known.”

“Mom, no-”

“Eddie, go to your room.”

“Ma, I’m,” Eddie tried to get out.

“Listen to me when I’m talking to you!” She roared, slamming her hand down on the table. Each and every one of them jumped, fear in their eyes. “I said, go to your-”

“No!” Eddie yelled, standing up with tears running down his cheeks. “I’m not going to my fucking room!” Running over to Richie, he cowered behind him, reaching for his free hand. Richie gladly laced their fingers together, though it only further enraged Sonia. “He didn’t do anything to me. We fell in love and that’s all that happened.”

“Sonia,” Richie began. She stood and began walking towards him.

“It’s Mrs. Kaspbrak to you, you little bastard!”

“Don’t you talk to my fucking son that way, you bitch!” Maggie yelled, standing up and walking in front of Richie and Eddie, a barrier between them and Sonia. “Leave them alone!”

“This isn’t love, this is a lie from the devil. It’s a sin, and I won’t have my Eddie burning in hell.”

Reaching behind Maggie, she grabbed Eddie by the shoulder roughly, making him cry out. Yanking him back, Richie stood from his seat and tried to keep Eddie away from her, but to no avail. She was stronger, and not afraid to hurt her son. 

“Eddie!”

“No, I won’t go back! I’m not going back!” Eddie sobbed, smacking at Sonia’s strong hands. “I can’t, I can’t, mom please!”

“You two get out of my house, now. Eddie-bear, get in the car.”

“No!” He was screaming, begging, reaching out to Richie. “Please, Richie help!”

“Leave him alone, you bitch!” Richie tried to lunge at Sonia, but Maggie held him back. Batting at her hands, he noticed that tears were running down his cheeks too. “Leave him alone!”

Sonia ushered them all out of the house, dragging Eddie behind her kicking and screaming. At one point he did get free, running and grabbing at Richie and sobbing. “I love you, I love you, don’t you fucking forget me, Rich.”

“God, I love you, I couldn’t forget if I fucking tried.”

Then she threw him over his shoulder like he was weightless and he was gone. Thrown into the car, Sonia drove away before Eddie could even sit up in the back seat. 

It was then and only then that Richie’s stomach rebelled and had him running for the lawn before emptying his stomach, vomiting into the grass and sobbing. He’d always hated throwing up, and the last time he’d had the stomach flu Eddie was the one there to comfort him and rub his back, whispering that he’d be okay. 

This time it was his mom taking his place, walking over and sharing her comfort while he threw up, a seemingly unending thing.

When he was finally done, he walked out and sat on the curb, his mom joining him and laying her head on his shoulder.

“Is it true, Richie?”

“I love him, mom,” That was the only thing said for a good while. A quiet confession, something he’d been hiding for years finally coming into the light. “She’s going to send him back, and I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.”

“Oh, baby...come here.”

Once the tears started again, he couldn’t seem to turn them off. She’d said nothing about it, but this small act of acceptance meant the world to him. There he stood, crying into his mother’s shoulder about a lost love. He cried out into the void, loud sobs and quiet whispers begging God to do something, to bring Eddie back.

Richie cried, and this time, Eddie wasn’t there to stop the tears. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm literally so sorry, but it had to happen and we all knew it. We're finally on the home stretch with this, only one chapter to go! I'm going to be so sad when this is over, I'll miss this fic like hell. Ficlets will be posted though, so keep an eye out for those!
> 
> Merry christmas for those of you that celebrate, and happy holidays for those of you who don't. I hope today is a great day for everyone!
> 
> Last chapter will be out tomorrow!


	14. Fight The Good Fight With All Thy Might

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was the rumors that made Richie sneak into the church on that Sunday morning. 

It was the rumors that made Richie sneak into the church on that Sunday morning. 

_ The preacher’s son is back _

Seven months later and he might finally be back. Richie was hoping to God that it was true. It had some legitimacy, as Eddie’s eighteenth birthday had come and gone, meaning that Sonia couldn’t legally keep him in his “therapy” anymore. Even if Eddie wasn’t there today, he prayed that he’d somehow gotten away from her. He prayed that he’d make his way back to him, that he would even remember Richie. 

Logically, he knew that Eddie would remember him. But alas, he was merely a self hating dumbass who was convinced Eddie would despise him now. This was the second time Richie had been the reason he ended up in conversion therapy, and who the fuck knew what they’d done to him this time? Richie had never been, but the horror stories he’d heard all seemed to match up with the things Eddie had told him. 

It was the rumors that made Richie mad. 

_ I heard he was in jail _

_ No, he went to boot camp _

_ I heard he’s still a  _ **_homosexual_ **

The catty old ladies had always pissed him off, but now even more so. He wondered if they knew that one day he may be the one to choose between charging his phone or leaving their life support plugged in. Even if it were at 100%, he would choose his phone.

He sat in the back and hoped that nobody would recognize him. Just in case, he hadn’t even told his mom he was coming, though he was sure that she had her suspicions. How could she not? She knew that Eddie meant the world to him. She had been far more accepting of him than he thought she would be, but he still felt the need to leave Derry. He couldn’t stay there anymore, not when every twist and turn reminded him of Eddie. He and his mom still stayed in constant contact, despite the fact that Richie had his own place now. Saving almost every penny you’d earned since you were fourteen apparently paid off.

It was exactly eleven twenty one a.m. right at the beginning of worship when Richie saw him for the second time, just as he had a year ago. Richie heard him before he saw him, letting out a choked sob at hearing that oh so familiar voice of his. He took a moment to thank whatever God was up there that the person in front of him was short before scanning the stage for Eddie. 

And there he was, almost as if he’d never left at all. With his pretty lips pressed to the mic, he sang songs of worship and love to the heavens. Richie never thought he’d be jealous of God, but he stood there singing, wishing those songs were for him.

Worship ended far too quickly, and he watched as Eddie walked down to his seat. He turned and scanned the aisles where Richie used to sit, something like hope in his eyes.  _ I’m here _ , he wanted to scream.  _ I’m right here, just turn and look behind you..  _

But he didn't. Eddie turned back around to face the front, to face his fucking mother. 

Sonia Goddamn Kaspbrak lumbered up to the stage, her signature sugary sweet smile on her not so sugary sweet face. “Good morning congregation. How are we doing today?”

The answer was underwhelming, only a few whoops and cheers. Everyone was focused on one thing and one thing only. Where the hell had Eddie been? Her prized pet disappearing for six months was far more important than how the congregation was feeling that morning.

The smile on her face waned the slightest bit, giving way to that annoyed look Richie knew all too well. “Tired, I’m sure. Seems like it’s been a long day already, huh?”

The answer was a bit louder this time, a little more enthusiastic, but still quiet. Her frustration was beginning to become apparent. 

“Anyway, today we have a very special guest speaker: My son, Eddie Kaspbrak!” 

There were a few cheers, but the crowd began to whisper almost overwhelmingly loudly. The gossip and disgust on their faces was so blatantly obvious it nearly made Richie go feral, ready to scream and shout at them to shut the fuck up. 

And Eddie. Poor fucking Eddie, getting up and trying to smile but failing. He had that look, his pre-cry grin that Richie was so familiar with. He wanted to kiss it away, but was stuck in the back. If his plan went alright, he’d be able to catch Eddie after service, but now he wasn’t sure if he’d get caught beforehand. The security guards here were real sons of bitches. 

“Hello,” Eddie said, wincing at the mic feedback before glaring up at the tech guys. “Sorry, hello everyone. Today we’re going to be doing a Q&A session. Anything you ask, I get to answer! Please though, keep it to bible-related topics.”

Richie’s stomach dropped to his feet. This wasn’t a sermon, this was a punishment. The icing on the fucking torture cake. First the therapy, now this? Sonia was a fucking terrible bitch, but he didn’t know that she’d go this far, leaving her son at the mercy of the congregation. 

It only took fifteen minutes for someone to ask the question, the one everyone had been asking for the past six months. 

“Eddie dear, where have you been?”

He froze in place, smile still pasted on his face. “I’ve been in conversion therapy, Mrs. Bowers. Thank you for asking.”

“What’s it like?” Yelled a bitch in the crowd, one who didn’t even have the fucking mic. 

“What’s it like?” Eddie echoed. “What’s it like? Well, Mrs. Hockstetter, I’m very glad you asked. After all, you’re the reason I had to go.” Sonia looked nervous, and Eddie snapped a rubber band he had around his wrist. “It’s like hell on earth, actually, and I can safely tell you that it doesn’t work for shit!”

That damned smile never once left his face, not even when Sonia got up and began walking toward the stage. “You get shown ‘homoerotic images” He mocked, making air quotes. “And if you react, do you know what happens, Mrs. Hockstetter?”

“N-”

“That was a fucking rhetorical question, now sit the fuck down,” Eddie snapped. “Your son is a piece of shit, by the way. Go buy a book on parenting, you need it.”

The congregation gasped, murmuring amongst each other, outraged and shocked. “You know what they fucking do to you? They shock you. They make you puke, they scream at you, they put this  _ stupid fucking rubber band _ around your  _ fucking wrist _ and make you snap it whenever you have a single gay thought go through your head.”

Sonia was on the stage, trying to wrestle the mic out of his hands. Eddie tore the rubber band off of his wrist and shot it straight at Patrick. Richie couldn’t help but snort at the homophobic “ _ ow!” _ that rung out. Unapologetic, Eddie hopped down from the stage and snatched the other mic from Mrs. Bowers. 

“I had someone. I had someone I  _ loved _ . I still love him, and I’m gonna go fucking look for him. If I lost him, then I want you all to know that you deserve to  _ burn in hell _ ,” Eddie yelled into the mic, throwing it down on the ground when he finished. He relished the screech of the microphone feedback, watching everyone cover their ears in annoyance.

“Fucking  _ amen! _ ” Richie screamed at the top of his lungs, ignoring all the people turning to look at him. All that mattered was the fact that Eddie recognized the voice, head snapping over to look in his direction, frantically searching for him. Richie elbowed his way through the row of people, throwing himself out into the aisle and running towards Eddie. 

The way Eddie’s face lit up would stay with Richie for the rest of his life, followed soon by the way Eddie ran toward him too, both of them meeting in a bruising, teary kiss. Their smiling lips met again and again, tears slipping down their cheeks and whispered confessions of love said between them. 

They ignored the way the guards came near them up until they were ushered out of the room, but not before Richie lifted a single middle finger and screamed, “Hey Sonia! Fuck you!”

“Yeah ma,  _ fuck you!”  _ Eddie yelled back with a manic giggle. “I hope you burn!”

That was how they were quite literally thrown out of the church on their asses. 

“Richie, oh my God, Richie,” Eddie cried out, latching onto him and not letting go. “I just did that, did I just do that? Did I just scream at the whole church and hit Patrick with a rubber band?”

“Yeah, you did, and it was fucking  _ awesome _ .”

“Jesus Christ Richie,” Eddie said, panic in his voice. “Please tell me I can stay over tonight because I don’t think I’m going to be allowed back at home.”

“Actually, how does staying over every night sound?”

“What?”

“I'll explain but let’s go get your shit first, we gotta grab it before the great preacher Sonia Kaspbrak gets there.”

They made it to his house in record time. The whole time Richie drove, Eddie had his hand on one of his, as if this was all a dream and Richie would disappear the moment he let go. 

“Do you have a key?”

“No, but I have a window,” Eddie said, snorting. “I can’t believe I have to break into my own house.”

“It just be like that sometimes, Eds,” Kissing the top of Eddie’s head, he put the car in park and hopped out, ready to climb a goddamn drain pipe. Opening the door for Eddie, he noticed just how worn out he looked. With dark circles under his eyes, he was definitely skinnier and exhausted. Richie tried not to focus on it too much or he would end up skinning Sonia alive. “You look terrible, are you okay?”

“Thanks, I love you too,” Eddie said flatly, glaring at him. “I just got back yesterday, the car ride was hell and so was the therapy.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry we got caught. I never should have…” 

“Never should have what? Fallen in love with me? Said anything about it? Shut the fuck up before I hit you, dumbass,” Eddie snapped. “It’s not your fault.”

“I should be the one comforting you in this situation,” Richie said, like a dumbass.

“You can comfort me later, but right now you can do it by helping me get into my damn house.”

So he did. They somehow managed to get all of Eddie’s shit out in thirty minutes, though Eddie decided not to bring too much. 

“I want to start fresh, I guess,” He said, looking around his room sadly. “I’m gonna miss all the memories we have here, though.”

“We can make more. Oh shit, you’re gonna love Draco.”

“What the fuck? Like, the little blonde bitch?”

“No, my ferret!”

“You have a  _ ferret?” _

“Yeah!” Richie said happily. “He’s adorable, you’ll love him.”

“You don’t even like Harry Potter.”

“It’s from Harry Potter?”

“Oh my God, you’re an idiot,” Eddie groaned. “What, did you just go on a baby name site and hit randomize?”

The silence in the room told Eddie everything he needed to know.

“Jesus Christ. That poor ferret.”

With that, they were finally leaving that hellhole. Eddie closed his eyes on the way out, not wanting to look at the rooms he knew his mother frequented. He refused to see his mom sitting at the TV, or at the table, or shoving pills down his throat as a child. Fucking gazebos. 

“We’re out, Eddie Spaghetti.”

“Finally,” The sound of an all too familiar car was coming closer and closer. Eddie’s eyes went wide with panic. “Richie, run. Rich,  _ run!” _

Sonia’s car pulled into the driveway just as Richie and Eddie threw themselves into his car, turning on the car and driving away as fast as humanly possible. Unlike Lot’s wife, Eddie didn’t look back. He refused to become a pillar of salt, he would never look back. 

“Eddie, earth to Eddie!” Richie snapped his fingers in front of Eddie’s face. “We’re out. You’re gone. You’re free!”

Oh, what an exhilarating feeling. He was  _ free _ . Opening up the sunroof, Eddie stood and screamed out into the void, he screamed his praises to God. 

“I’m free! I’m finally fucking  _ free! _ ” He yelled. “I’m flying home!”

He stayed standing in the wind until he saw the sign that left Derry behind them, that broke his shackles and finally let him breathe for the first time in his life. Plopping back down in his seat, he poured a bottle of water on his head and used a spare shirt to get the gel out of his hair, letting his curls dry the way they should. They were fluffy and light, the way he felt right at that moment. 

Turning the music on, he and Richie sang the songs Richie had taught him in the first place, every song his mother had never let him sing. He sang his freedom and his happiness to the world. 

In the car, he used his hands as a flute to sing along to the song before bringing out his guitar and crooning sweet melodies to his Richie.  _ His _ Richie. This man was finally his, and he would never let him go. 

They arrived at a small apartment complex, parking outside of a run down looking place.

“It’s not much, but it’s mine,” Richie said, opening the car door for Eddie. Always a gentleman. “Well, mine and Draco’s, and now yours if you want it.”

“Mine?” Eddie asked, shocked.

“Well, if you want to stay. You don’t have to, but I want you to move in,” Richie said, soft smile on his face. “I mean, only if you want to though. I’m just saying, think of all the wild sex we could-”

“Yes, okay, I know about the wild sex,” Eddie stopped him, blushing. He hoped the people in the next car over didn’t have their windows rolled down, they had three children in the car. “I would love to move in with you.”

Whooping, Richie picked him up bridal style and ran up the short flight of stairs, unlocking and opening the door. 

“May I carry you over the threshold, Eddie?” Richie whispered, dropping a feather soft kiss on his cheek. 

“Carry me to a fresh start, Rich.”

With that one single step into the apartment, Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak began their new life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it ends. I hope everything turned out okay for you all and that this ending is good enough for these precious little gays. I'm going to miss these two so much, I have to start writing some ficlets. I'll probably be making this its own little universe because I'm physically unable to let this fic go just like that. I can't promise regular updates, but I can promise the occasional companion fic. 
> 
> I just want to thank everyone for their overwhelming support, I can't even begin to describe how much it's helped me. Thank you for all the kudos and all the comments, I love you all! 
> 
> I'm dedicating this whole-ass fic to MJ, because without her this shit wouldn't even exist. Like, seriously, I could not have asked for a better cheerleader and brainstorm buddy. When I was down on myself and stuck, she's the one that told me to get the hell up and keep going or I'd hate myself for leaving this unfinished, and you know what? She was right. Now that this is done, I can rest easy having published the longest finished work I've ever written. It feels wonderful, so thank you MJ for everything you did and are still doing, even with my upcoming fics. 
> 
> With that, I'm outta here. There are more fics coming of course, I'm already working on one. If you want to contact me, I'm always available on instagram at archangelica_angelica and on tumblr at eddiesdeaddie. 
> 
> Well, that's all folks!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed it! Please comment feedback, it helps keep me motivated and helps me know what you guys do and don't like!
> 
> Follow me on instagram at archangelica_angelica or on tumblr at eddiesdeaddie if you want to get in touch or just to watch me shitpost!


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